Post # 1
I don’t know why I can get so easily offended sometimes. I was always that way and I will probably never get out of it. This is not just a vent, I’d like opinions on how you would have reacted or how you would have felt if this happened to you, just any opinion on general really.
We got engaged last Christmas. It was perfect and it was the best time I could think of for us to get engaged. We got to see our families that day and announce it to them. It was really special for us. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Recently, my FI brother’s girlfriend has been talking about them getting engaged. She mentioned once before how she wouldnt want it to be on a holiday because people expect it. She’d want to do it on a random day. This is great, its her opinion, but it did get to me a little.
On Christmas Eve of this year, her and her mother were talking with us and it got brought up again. She said how she told him, FI’s brother, he better not do it over Christmas because she doesn’t think its a good time to do it since everyone gets engaged then and its a expectation. Her mother agrees its not a a good time to do it.
Yes, of course they are welcome to their opinion but they said it to us! Why would they do that? Were they forgetting when we got engaged? I felt it was really rude to do that and I felt hurt by it. I can see that she doesn’t want to do it the same day we did but still, did they have to put it down like that?
Do you think I have the right to be hurt or do you think I’m just to soft and should suck it up? Thanks. Hope that wasn’t too confusing. I’ll clarify if it was 🙂
Post # 3
They were probably just being thoughtless. Did you say “hey, we got engaged last Christmas!”? She may also have told him that so he didn’t propose on the same day your FI did (the previous year though of course).
Also, some people do think that it’s tacky, but don’t let that take the wind out of your sails 🙂 I’m sure yours was special and everyone was happy for you.
Post # 4
Thanks, tobin. No, I didn’t say anything about it…. thinking back, I should have in a joking way or something. Maybe next time if there is one. Until then, I’ll try to let it slide.
Thanks, it was special, I appreciate the advice 🙂
Post # 5
Personally, I would have said ‘Oh wow, thanks so much guys!’ in a jokey but sarcastic manner to remind them to keep their comments light in front of me. They are entitled to their own feelings about that kind of thing and I wouldn’t have been offended, per se, just kind of surprised at their lack of tact.
Post # 6
I agree with the girl and the mother, but no I would not say that in front of someone who got engaged on a holiday. One of my good friends got engaged on Christmas too but I would never say that its not a good time to get engaged, and for lots of people it is a good time so there is no point in saying anything.
However, in this situation it dosn’t seem as they were thinking of you but themselves and its what she was thinking not necessarily thinking about you at all, but about herself, its what she wanted (not to be proposed to at Christmas) If she hasn’t been mean to you in other ways than I wouldn’t worry about it.
But next time you should say “I think its an excellet time to get engaged.” or something like that.
Post # 7
Thanks for the advice everyone. I think you’re all right… this has been the only things I’ve taken offence to that they’ve said so I’m assuming they didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sure they were just not thinking about it when they said it.
Post # 8
did you see the poll?! most engagments happen in november and december. I personally think its sweet to get engaged on a holiday – you will both remember that day forever and it makes that holiday extra special! i didnt get engaged on a holiday, just a normal weekend in july but it was still special – christmas engagements are so exciting! what better gift to give the one you love but the promise of forever and a beautiful ring 😉 dont let them bother you too much, everyone has their own opinion. while i understand her theory i find it kind of selfish of her to tell her family and fi that he better not propose on a holiday – how ungrateful.
Post # 9
I can see how your feelings could be hurt, but some people don’t want a proposal to happen on a holiday or maybe she thought that was your day.
My FI proposed on Thanksgiving Day, not because it was a holiday but because my immediate family was present and he wanted to make sure everyone was there. Girl I brag about my “holiday” proposal every time someone asks me how FI did it. Own your proposal and date, say I loved EVERYTHING about my proposal it was unforgettable I will never forget that Christmas day.
Post # 10
Thanks for the honest opinions. Each one made me feel so much better. I can proudly announce that I’m am over this whole thing and am no less proud of my holiday engagement.
You guys are the bomb! haha
Post # 11
That is pretty thoughtless of them to say.
I was just thinking to myself how wonderful it must be to get engaged over Christmas because then you get to see your family and share the good news with many people in person, plus you have time off to get all excited and share the news instead of going back to work the next day.
You go girl. And you are right about what you said.
Post # 12
It sounds like they just weren’t thinking when they said that. I can understand how it might offend you a little, but try not to let it get to you. You loved your engagement and that is all that matters!
Post # 13
I would remind them that it happened to you, and I would say something along the lines of “and I really enjoyed it and thought it was special b/c the whole family was there to share it with us…” and remind them why it was important to you. She probably doesn’t prefer it b/c she wants a different experience in general, so she might feel like by discussing out loud, she’s re-iterating that she doesn’t want that experience.
To be honest, I would have preferred that my family be there for my proposal, so I’m kinda jealous of all those Christmas proposals 😉
Post # 14
I think they were being thoughtless. Try not to let their insensitivity get to you. Be proud of your engagement and knowing that you’ll soon be marrying your true love!
Post # 15
Yeah I was engaged Dec 17th of last year – kind of a holiday proposal – but I’ve had a few friends get engaged since and to be honest, while I know and love that they’re engaged, I don’t remember at all when it happened for them! Maybe they just forgot or weren’t thinking about your date, just throwing out opinions for her own.
So glad you’re feeling better about it!
Post # 16
I can definitely see how you would be a little upset…I also told my FI that x-mas, x-mas eve, new years eve, new years day, and valentines day were also out for me because I felt they were cliche…but I know others don’t feel that way, so I would never make that comment because I know not everyone thinks the way I do. My FI wanted a day he could remember, so he picked…the fourth of july…and I thought it was sweet. So I was proposed to on a holiday anyway…and I LOVED IT!