Post # 1
Ok, this may sound weird, but I hate it when I recieve an invitation and its so up in the air that i’m not sure what the crap is going on. We have lots of friends ranging from mid 20s to mid 30s that will be at our wedding and we can’t have plus 1s for everyone. We also are having the wedding back in our hometown and people back home feel that its ok to just go to any old wedding that takes place in the town because they feel that they are all open weddings.
We are getting married in an old theatre setting and I was going to make "tickets" for the reception. Everyone that is invited to the ceremony is invited to the reception. Its just that if I don’t have tickets I swear people will just show up.
My ultimate question is is it ok for us to have some housekeeping notes in our invitations explaining ourselves for the tickets and the no plus one on the invites. Saying something like "due to the intimate nature of this event and also telling people if they want to dress in cocktail attire that it is totally fine. blah blah blah. I just want everyone to understand that this is a private, intimate affair. more than just your small town wedding reception. Any suggestions how to make this work?
Post # 3
Can you include it on the website instead of the invitation? I wanted NO KIDS at my ‘cocktail party’ wedding, but I didnt want to put it on the invitation. Instead, I included it on the website with other pertinent info…
If youre not sending out STDs, maybe include an insert that says something like "details available at http://www….."
Post # 4
I think putting that kind of thing on the invite might imply to your guests that they are rude and socially incompetent (which they may be), but it might offend.
If you are having a response card, just put the "X number of seats have been reserved for you" so that they can’t bring other people with them.
I think the attire and invite-only info would be best on your website or spread by word of mouth.
Post # 5
I think "we have reserved X seats for you" is the farthest into instructing your guests not to bring uninvited guests you can go on an invitation. It would be appropriate to have your attire requests on there too.
As to keeping people from bringing +1s, You know your guest list and so you know for whom these parameters are likely to be a problem. I would address them individually rather than putting a blanket instruction to everyone, when the majority of guests will get the clue and behave properly from the get-go. Maybe put an instruction to call you with any questions on the website. I invited many guests without +1s and I got only one request for a guest (which I granted).
As to getting your whole town not to show up, the only thing I can suggest is to keep the specs of your wedding on the down-low (the wheres and whens). You can also ask a family member(s) who knows all or most of the guests to stand near the door to make sure that your wedding doesn’t get crashed.
Although given that your reception is in a theater the tickets are a cute idea….but what if someone forgets their ticket? Are you going to make them get their name checked off the guest list? And if an invited guest has brought an uninvited guest to the reception, are you going to turn their guest away at the door? As a guest I would prefer that someone be in charge of subtly keeping out the crashers rather than feeling like I had to go through security. Rather than tickets, if you specify "cocktail attire" or something really dressy for your wedding you might also have a good way of telling who’s trying to crash the party because random townsfolk probably will not be dressed appropriately.
Regardless, in both cases I would try to approach the situation assuming that most people are going to behave well and deal with the rule-breakers separately, rather than broadcasting the rules everyone should know just to make sure you catch the handful of stragglers. Good luck!
Post # 6
i’m thinking that the website is gonna be the best idea…its just so hard because we are from rural america and people just don’t throw weddings like the way we want to throw it. all of our friends have been married for 3-5 years and we just now are ready to do it but i just can’t have everyone bringing whoever. everything else isn’t stressful at all to me, just maintaining the guest list!