Post # 1
So I have been around here for a little while now and am trying to wait as patiently as I can, but something happened over the weekend that really put it all into perspective for me.
We found out that my partner’s Mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
We find out tomorrow just how bad the cancer is, although at the moment the signs are positive, given how quickly she has been seen and treated and the size of the lump.
When we found out I just thought, “I would give up ever getting married to him to make sure that she is OK”
At the end of the day, what matters isn’t a ring and a wedding, but the relationship we have and the family around us. My partner is extremely close to his mum and the thought of her going through this is extremely heartbreaking.
Fingers crossed for good news on Tuesday!
Post # 3
*hugs* That is really hard! It sounds like you have true perspective and a caring heart. I hope she is OK, keeping fingers crossed here in U.S.!
Post # 4
Oh my dear, you are becoming wise, and that is a good thing. So much is put into the tangible when it is the intangible that is so precious. We never know how long we have on this earth, and we waste so much time on things that, in the bigger picture, really don’t matter.
I have been in your partner’s mum’s position and I’ll tell you, it’s so scary. You literally live your life over in the time between surgery and diagnosis…..and then you think about the future and what you may miss.
I will keep you and your loved ones in my thoughts and hope that the diagnosis and prognosis is positive.
Post # 5
I hope evrything works out for the best. Your partner is lucky to have someone like you!
Post # 6
Such a hard situation to go thru. I hope everything goes well tomorrow! But you’re right its the people in your life that matter!
Post # 7
*hugs*! Sending good energy to you. I hope it turns out well tomorrow.
Post # 8
Thanks girls – we found out it is stage 2 breast cancer… so she has to have radiation, then surgery, followed by chemo. We dont know yet if it has spread anywhere else. But, I did read that these days that the survival rate is between 80 and 90 per cent which is encouraging. I think breast cancer still has those awful connotions of a really tough cancer that is hard to beat, but so many women do it every day!
She starts treatment today so it is going to be a tough few months but I know it will be OK.
Post # 9
my step-mom was diagnois with breast cancer. she had both breast removed and went through the radiation and chemo. i admire her strong willed attitude. she never gave up and even though she wasn’t feeling good still managed to have a smile on her face. my thoughts are with you. your mom will beat this!
Post # 11
Just wanted to let you know that you story touches really close to home for me. You are right it does put things into perspective. My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in late April and passed away less then three months later (July 16th). On the other hand i was so grateful to learn that my boyfriend spoke to mom and dad before she passed to ask for my hand. It was important to me that she know, as she didn’t get to see me engaged, and won’t be there on my wedding day.
Anyways, spend all the time you can with your family and friends. Support your partner’s mom however you can. I will be thinking of you all.
Post # 12
Thanks guys – she is doing really well actually. She had surgery last Thursday and the news from the doctors yesterday was that the cancer hadn’t spread! She has to do a course of radiation therapy and the doctors have told her it is up to her whether or not she does chemo. The chances of it coming back or her not recovering from this are quite slim, but the chemo just increases those chances slightly. We don’t know what she will do yet, but the whole family is very relieved!
I feel incredibly blessed that she will be OK and will be around to see us eventually move into the next phase of our lives!
@WanderingOne – I am so sorry to hear about your mum. How wonderful though that your boyfriend got to speak with her before she passed and that she knew that you were going to be happy together and taken care of. I hope you are doing OK and am thinking of you. Cancer is such a horrible disease and nobody should ever have to go through it.
Post # 13
Wow, I’ve been married and (sadly) divorced and have been dating my current boyfriend for 1.5 years now. My dad died when I was 13 and I’ve lost my mom also. When I began reading your post, I thought you were going to say that you realize how short of a time we have on earth and how we should cherish every moment we have with the ones we love and not waste time. Was surprised to see where you went with it. Please know that I am SO SORRY about your partner’s mom. Thankfully, breast cancer is increasingly curable, and I hope and pray the best for her.
I appreciate your new perspective regarding not feeling “sorry” for yourself for not being engaged or married, which may seem trivial in light of this terrible news. However, if love, marriage and family is what you want for your life, then you should not apologize. Of course you don’t need to focus on the ring, or the dress or the wedding cermony and reception. These things are nice, but it’s the actual MARRIAGE (not the wedding) and creating a family that are most important. Don’t make apologies or put that aside if that’s what you want. Life IS short and our days (EVERY second) are precious. Decisions we make in our youth have life-changing repercussions. (I only got to have one child – who desparately wants a sibling – because I didn’t marry sooner, for example.) Spend your time with your loved ones and don’t waste time on anyone who can’t give you the love you need and deserve.
Many blessings to you, your partner and your families.