Post # 1
So we haven’t announced it yet, but it looks like my hubby and I will have to put off our wedding date. It feels like a bit of a defeat, but we can save so much more money if we wait, and the families have been much less helpful with money that originally anticipated. I don’t want to do into debt to get married, it’s not worth it. Even so, the whole matter is spectacularly depressing, and not just cause the date itself was wonderful.
Of course, this could mean going even longer with health insurance and that is really scary. It’s been suggested more than once (by my mother too) that we go get married secretly so I can have health insurance, then have the wedding later, but I hate that idea. Weddings are really important, and I won’t steal my ceremony of its meaning.
I won’t announce the postponement until I have a new date.
Did any of you married bees have to put off your weddings? What were reactions?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you have to postpone 🙁 But I think it’s really great you do not want to go into debt for the wedding. It might mean sadness in the short term, but it’s a better decision to start your future in a debt-free way.
We didn’t postpone our wedding date, but we did postpone getting engaged because we were talking about it right when the stock market crashed. We waited another year, and it was hard, but we’re in much better financial shape now, so it was the right decision for us.
Post # 4
I’m not a married bee, but i totally agree with your choice of waiting till the ceremony to get “married”.. i would do the same thing.
I know you feel the wind is outta your sails but its smart and the best thing to do financially. Don’t feel defeated! 😀
Post # 5
Just think of how great you’ll feel knowing your not going it debt to do it. You’ll have such a better foundation to start a new life on.
We have some friends last summer who put their wedding off to work on some personal problems. The postponment was met with much enderstanding. Everyone felt good knowing they didn’t make a mistake, or do it just because. Now, they are getting married this summer, and they couldn’t be happier!
I think all your guests will understand, and support your decision. I think its very big of you both.
Post # 6
Everything happens for a reason. Keep planning : )
Post # 7
I’m sorry to hear that you have to postpone 🙁 But it’s a wise choice since going into debt for a wedding really doesn’t seem worth it. I’m in the same boat you are about the health insurance thing. We’re contemplating just having two friends go with us to city hall to be witnesses and just signing the marriage certificate so that legally we’ll be married so I can get on his health insurance (since trying to get my own insurance is SUPER expensive!!) but we won’t consider it as actually getting married since our family and friends won’t be there and we want to have a real wedding. Sounds confusing and might not make sense to some…but my work is in the field of healthcare and I know totally understand the risks of not having health insurance and it makes me nervous!!!
I agree with SepQueen…keep planning! 🙂
Post # 8
Ooh! That is exactly what my hubby and I did!! We were engaged and then decided for health insurance and other reasons (he’s a Marine and was getting deployed and we would have rather been safe than sorry) we decided to get married at the courthouse but still plan a wedding for our family and friends to be at. I have my wedding dress but everything else is just a work in progress. It’s hard explaining it to people “OH yeah we’re planning our wedding” and they’ll say “Wait aren’t you married though?” lol It’s okay though, I will admit I have some sadness because we did already get married and the excitement of walking down the aisle and “finally getting married” won’t be there exaaactly but I’ll still be excited because it’ll be in front of our friends and family. The thing is though I’m not religious and neither is he and we wouldn’t of had the ceremony in a church so that’s what made our minds up officially. Trust me it’s still fun and exciting and you still plan like normal. It’s a lot smarter that you wait and put the wedding off, besides most couples are engaged for 2 years before getting married. I’m determined to have our wedding for under $10 and we’re also only having 30 guests (because our family and friends live all over the US.). Good luck!!
Post # 9
My fiance and I had to postpone our August 1st, 2009 wedding, three months before it took place. We were talked out of it by my parents, particularly my mom. I was devestated and went into a very deep depression where I stayed in bed for 3wks (the week before, during, and after our would be wedding), to be honest I probably would have stayed longer but my fiance and I are wedding Djs and we had weddings to do. A wedding on the same day we should have been returning from our honeymoon. The first wedding we done after postponing I went to the bathroom and cried all the way through the rehearsal dinner and part of the wedding. Mr JB was devastated as well. We actually stopped talking about our true feelings as well, which was actually easy to do because we don’t live together. It took us 6-7months to get back to a good place, but with determination and a ton of crying on each others shoulders we got there again. We knew we weren’t going to give up on each other no matter what, but we felt like we’d been blackmailed/bribed into postponing.
Honestly people didn’t understand what we felt. No one was angry. Some were sad, a few were snippy. The biggest difference is now that we’ve picked a new date- it’s like we’re not being take seriously.
Post # 10
OMG HAHA I MEAN having our wedding for under 10k!! 10,000 hahaha no $10
Post # 11
Atleast you have MORE time to plan things out and do things the way you really want them done. Dont be hard on yourself!
Post # 12
My Fiance and I have pushed our wedding back twice now but have finally set the date. We kept pushing it back for financial reasons as well. At one point we did really consider going and getting married by ourselves at some beautiful location and then having a bigger wedding later. Keep your head up and like the others said, keep planning!
Post # 13
If it’s just a $ issue could you just make it a less fancy wedding? We have also thought about getting married first by a judge for health insurance and other reasons – we are having a Jewish wedding so even if we were already married it would still have a lot of meaning. I wouldn’t put off my wedding for financial reasons since the marriage is way more important to me than the wedding itself.