Post # 1
FH and I have just started working on the first drafts of our guest lists and I’m seriously stressing out about it. FH and I are having a small wedding and we decided that only close friends and family would be invited. The thing is, both FH and I have plenty of family members on both sides that we don’t really speak to or get along with anymore, but I know they would get mad if I didn’t invite them.
Do I suck it up and invite them knowing they probably won’t show up or just not invite them at all and deal with them being annoyed with me for a while?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
If you don’t speak to them, it really doesn’t matter if they’ll be mad at you. I only invited one out of twelve cousins- hadn’t seen the others in five plus years, so what was the point?
It can get a little tricky if you invite two siblings from one family and not the other, for example. But when you need to stick to a number/budget, people just have to deal.
Post # 4
The guest list is the hardest part (so far). We really felt stuck and invited more people than we wanted because of family!
Post # 5
@SouthernGirl: I am in the same situation as you. I have eleven aunts and uncles on my moms side alone and too many cousins to count. There is already enough drama going on in the family as it is so I just went ahead and invited everyone even though I know most wont come.
Post # 6
I would not invite them, unless someone footing the bill for the wedding is requesting they be invited.
Here’s how I sorted out those sorts of questions with the guest list. I imagined myself at the reception, going around to the tables and greeting/thanking people. When I got to the table with that person, would I be genuinely happy they were there? Do I get a good feeling in my gut picturing that moment? If not, I left them off. It served me pretty well. You could also mentally picture getting their RSVP. Would you be like “Crap!” if they RSVP yes?
Post # 7
@NAvery: My mom is paying for half, but she’s not insisting I invite them. She seems to think they are family and they love me so they would come, but to be honest, I would be fine if they didn’t. They’ve treated me like crap for years (and my mom too) so they aren’t exactly the type of people I’d want at my wedding. I’m only concerned because these family members live across the street from my mom (my aunt, two of my cousins and my grandmother all live on the same street as my mom) and I know they like to start crap. I just don’t want my mom to have to deal with them.
Post # 8
@SouthernGirl: I think keeping it small is your mom’s perfect response if they do start crap.
And honestly… if they start crap, it only reflects poorly on them.
Don’t invite people who treat you poorly to your wedding.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Invite family you actually interract with. There is no reason to invite virtual strangers to an intimate affair. Make sure your parents know who you are and are not inviting and why so that they can field wuestions if asked. If it’s a small wedding, it’s a small wedding.