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Are you "out" as having met online? Are you comfortable if it is brought up at your wedding?
A few of my close friends know that FI and I met online, but I thought that none of my family knew. We were always fairly vague with them. I am not embarassed about it exactly, but there is still a bit of stigma in my circle about online dating.
I just happened upon my sister's draft MOH speech while visiting her and to start with it had a couple of not so nice jokes in it. Also, she makes a "plenty of fish" joke. I am uncomfortable with this. I don't know if I should say something or just let it go? She is the one that will end up looking silly, right?
Ugh, I want to elope so badly. This whole wedding is just causing me so much anxiety and doesn't even feel "fun" anymore.
Well I will tell you this, I have a horror story behind how I met my FI, but everyone knows it, and honestly it makes me laugh so it's okay now. If it got brought up at my wedding...I suppose I could laugh about it, but if these jokes are going to upset you on your big day I would tell her. It's not her right as a MOH to make you feel bad. My FI and I met through Myspace of all places, it wasn't random, I had known a guy online for years and he lived in the same town as my FI, but still...Myspace? Ugh! lol Terrible. But that's not the worst part, or the funniest part. the guy that introduced us was, in his mind, my ex boy friend, and also, in his mind, a VAMPIRE! haha, not kidding here...He was also in love with me and tried to break us up when we first got together. So yeah, a creepy guy thinking he's a vampire hooked me and my FI up on Myspace. Does that embarrass me? Not really. I never would have met the man I'm going to marry if it weren't for all of that. The stigma on online dating is stupid. But like I said, if you can't handle whats being said in her speech, she shouldnt be able to say it, in my opinion at least. But don't be ashamed of how you met, you're getting married, you're in love. It doesn't matter how it happens :)
I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of that you met online, and I'm sure your MOH doesn't either, which is why she's okay with bringing it up in her speech. However, if you think it would make you feel awkward, just be honest with her and don't have it mentioned at the wedding.
We met on match, and most everyone knows it. No one has ever given us any grief over it. How is meeting someone online any worse than meeting someone in a bar? I know happily married couples from eharmony, match, okcupid, and plentyoffish. Like PP above me said, it doesn't matter how it happens.
We've even embraced how we met. On the back of our programs, we did a little "thanks" blurb, thanking our friends and family. At the very bottom, we wrote "P.S. Thank you Match!" Don't be ashamed. You're happy and in love and so many people would kill to have that!
We met in the most interesting of ways on Craigslist. Not a typical internet dating experience, and when people find out they think its pretty awesome (and many are inspired to try it themselves). So, to answer your question, yes we are 'out' - but only because its such a good story we can't help but share it with others.
I dont think its anything to be ashamed of, but if you'd prefer that it not be shared at your wedding, make sure you have a little chat with those giving speeches about what you really dont' want mentioned.
I've never understood the criticism of those who have met online. Our society is evolving and the Internet is just one more way that people come into contact with one another. DH and I met in college, but cheers to those of you who met online. :)
We met on the same site (plentyoffish). I didn't tell my parents at first, but it came out eventually. (Actually, the lady at the dress shop spilled the beans to my mom. Awkward at the time, but made a good story. I was actually on tv this year and during the 'contestant chat' part, told that story.)
We met online. I don't care at all and have told all my family/friends, but DH did not tell anyone for a LONG time, and has now only told a couple people. He made me explicitly tell my MOH that she was NOT to mention anything about it in the speech. She still ended saying some kind of awkward but unrelated things in the speech, but yeah, no one cares, and she's the only one who looks silly. But it certainly wouldnt hurt if you mentioned to your MOH that you would appreciate if she didn't make any jokes like xyz or whatever.
Most people I guess would assume my husband & I met in high school since we was 15 & 17 when we started dating. But we met on myspace. & I am pretty sure most of our friends know & I know our family knows. Atleast our parents. Or anyone who has asked.
Its nothing to be ashamed of. I seriously think of it as a miracle. Seriously! I mean out of ALL of the people on myspace my husband found & added ME! There was only so much of a percentage chance for him to find me out of the billions of people who use to use myspace but he did anyways.
Every year on Thanksgiving we say we are thankful for... Myspace! haha :-)
My FI and I met online. All of our friends know this and so do our parents, however we have been less than honest with our parents about what website we met on. Our parents think we met on Facebook. We actually met on a site called SuicideGirls. And neither of us want our parents knowing we were members there to begin with. lol
So I hope it doesn't come out at the wedding.. that would be awkward.
We are completely out about it. I never hesitate to tell anyone that FI and I met on OkCupid. In fact, amongst our circle of friends, many of the couples met the same way. My best friend is engaged to a guy she met on OkCupid as well!
Everytime someone is surprised that we met online, I tell them that online dating is like online shopping. You just peruse the choices, weed out the bad stuff, and pick your favorites. For me, it was a wonderful way to meet him.
@Mrs.Estep: did you guys live in the same city being so young?
Yes we met online, but met in real life really soon afterwards so never really had an online "relationship". We didn't tell anyone, not really sure why. Im not embarrassed by it myself. I think it's because he's older we were maybe a bit worried that people would jump to conclusions?
My guy and I met on Match.com 3 years ago.
He was the one not telling people at 1st that we met online, I never really cared.
Now we both openly (almost proudly) say it to people, and you'd be surprised the amount of "You tooo?????" I get.
As for those who make jokes, go along with it, it's not meant to be hurtful.
We met online, and everyone knows! There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You will find that many, many couples here met the same way!
I agree. When you meet in a bar, you're probably both drunk and maybe looking for a one night stand. At least when you meet online you're clear headed and both of you are looking for love (or at least your profile is clear about what you want).
I honestly attach a bigger stima to having met in a bar than online. Not that I attach much of a stigma to either...
we're "out" about having me via a dating site now(we've been together over 5 years now so it's just not a big deal!), but it took awhile, maybe like 2 years until we were comfortable telling people, aside from those closest to us. but, it still would have made me a bit uncomfortable if that was mentioned in the toasts for our wedding--our relationship is about so much more than just how we met, it's so insignificant to how we built our relationship after that first incidental exchange. so if you don't want it in the speech, i think you can speak up about it. it sounds like it's not the actual talking about it that makes you uncomfortable but the jokes your sis is making about it--the toasts shouldn't be mean-spirited
My family/friends all know. His close friends know, but his family and work friends (who will be at the wedding!) don't know. I think we're going to have to "out" ourselves soon.
We should have told his family a loooong time ago. They hated me at the time he didn't see how telling them would make it better.
Now they're starting to warm up to me now that we're marrying and they need to know well before the wedding so that it's not a shock then. They think we met on a trip, by the way.
@Carolyn72: We lived about 30 some minutes away from each other but he went to school in VA & I went to school in KY.
EDIT: When we met I was taking my classes online. But before hand went to school in KY. & The reason I call it a miracle is because if he never sent that friend request our lives would be completely different & not in a good way.
I've always been open about how we met. About 90% of the time we get awkward blank stares from people who ask because for whatever reason online dating is still getting a bad wrap. But I never hesitate to let people know. I'm THRILLED it worked for me. I would never have met him otherwise. And honestly, I don't care how I found him so long as I wound up with him. If my story was that I found him after a fight erupted in a S&M dungeon I'd tell that story too. :)
I know you said you aren't "embarressed" about it, but you sound like you're still worry about how people will perceive you based on some silly stigma they're holding on to. But the thing is, people can't let go of that stigma till they realize that it actually works and its a legit way of meeting partners. If you hide it you're not doing your part to open their eyes. Maybe they'll give you the blank stare (like I always get) but I promise, it's not horrible and it lasts a whole 3 seconds before they're over it. And since they know and love your guy it's not like they'll suddenly become all judgement about your relationship because they know how good it is.
:)
I would definitely talk to your MOH about it if it makes you uncomfortable! And just FYI - I went to a friend's wedding last summer and she had the officiant mention DURING THE CEREMONY that they met on Lava Life. She (the bride) even turned to the crowd at that part, and nodded her head and winked, lol!
We met on Plenty of Fish, my family knows, some of our friends know, but I don't think his family knows. Not that it is a secret, I just don't think it came up. I do admit that I blushed and giggled the first time I told someone outside of my circle how we met...
Me and my FI met on an online geeky dating site called geek 2 geek
He was super embarresed about it and lied to his family how we met. He even had me go alone with it for a while >.>
If my MOH was going to say something and it made him feel uncomfortable I might stress him out and tell him to "suck it up", but secretly I'd let her know that it would be inapropreate
but I'm just a but resentful ^_^
@KristenGotMarried: is it wrong that I am really intrigued by your meeting story?
We met on plentyoffish too, right before I was about to delete my account because I was so tired of the creeps and weirdos. All of my close friends know that's where we met, my family just knows that we met online. Honestly I wouldn't want anyone announcing that's the exact site we met on, but I'm comfortable with the fact that we met online and have no issue with people knowing that.
We met on plentyoffish too, right before I was about to delete my account because I was so tired of the creeps and weirdos. All of my close friends know that's where we met, my family just knows that we met online. Honestly I wouldn't want anyone announcing that's the exact site we met on, but I'm comfortable with the fact that we met online and have no issue with people knowing that.
I'm usually ok with telling people that my finace and I met online, but telling people that it was through World of Warcraft is a little more difficult. We didn't actually have a dating relationship until after I went to visit him in person during spring break so I had a tendancy to tell some people that we met over spring break in Florida. At this point in our relationship I'm definitely more open with telling people exactly how we met, but it can get awkward with people that haven't met my fiance before. His family and friends all know exactly how we met, and (only after meeting me) have no problem with it at all. I'm considering asking my MOH not to mention WoW in her speech, but if she did I would just laugh and keep the party going!
We met online (POF) and didn't have an online relationship, I was doing some serial dating. We chatted and met a day later at a coffee shop. I've never admitted that to anyone. We both agreed our story starts at the coffeeshop.
@KristenGotMarried: We met on Craigslist too, and it was totally random.
My FI and just starting to openly discuss how we met with family because it seems that internet dating is becoming more accepted these days. Six years ago when we met there was more of a stigma associated with it.
FH and I met on Jdate and after talking for a few weeks, realized we had a lot of friends in common - I was even his little sister's camp counselor when I was in HS! When people first asked us we kind of avoided the question or made up a story, but neither of us care anymore. Now if I am asked I will give the true answer. However I would not want our 'story' to be part of our ceremony or any speeches, because I am a private person in general and I don't know half of the guests.
FI and I met on Match and we included that in our "how we met" story on our wedding website. I actually hadn't told my parents so they didn't find out until reading our wedding website!
FI and i met on eharmony and at first, we were really hush-hush about it becaue i was only 19 when we met and for some reason people tend to think online dating is even more odd when you're younger. I've actually had people make really rude comments about how that's for old and desparate people! SOO far from the truth, but some people are set in their ways...and rude!
FI thought his friends would make fun of him so we just said we met through a mutual friend (the internet ;) but now, pretty much everyone knows and no one cares :)
Even though I met my husband through my neighbor I did a lot of online dating. I never hid the fact the I was looking for a relationship on the internet. I have had girlfriends not want to be "outed" for online dating so I suggested to them "If you want to get technical about it you're not actually "meeting" online you're meeting them at Starbucks, a restaurant or any other public place you choose to have your first meeting" They've seemed to like that since it's partially the truth.
I actually liked online dating, it was like shopping for men. You see their interests, what type of relationship they're looking for and a photo. I just wished I could have found a website that I could build a bf, kinda like a la carte. I would love to pick and choose from a drag down menu and have him ready at the "check out".
I almost gave up on dating when my neighbor came to my door telling me she wants me to call a man she knew and the rest is history....
We met on Eharmony and I tell all my single friends to try it out. I met such an amazing man that I don't give how we met a second thought. I think maybe years ago I would have been a little more reserved about it...but these days I think it is a great way to weed out alot of the creeps. (not all of them...lol)
I actually met my fiance on customerssuck.com. We've always been open about it, but I will probably still worry if my hypothetical future child tells me they've met someone special online.
DH and I met on plentoffish, but haven't told anyone. I think there would be a lot of stigma, especially because I am pretty young (21). It did get pretty complicated for the wedding though, since he told his parents a different story than I told mine. Luckily it never came up in conversation.
My FI and I met on Plenty of Fish because we were too cheap to pay for a subscription to match or any of the other sites beacuse we didn't know if we would find someone. I guess it worked out for the best! We tell people we met online but leave the site name out.
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