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Like most Catholic churches, St. Pat's is pretty strict about what can and can't go on during a marriage ceremony, which is a sacred rite up there with Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, and the Last Rites. For example, only religious music can be played - meaning "Here Comes The Bride" is out because it is secular. Also, no outside musicians are allowed - they supply their own.
You have to interview to get a spot, so they can make sure you're JC worthy, I guess : ) Interviews must take place at least one year prior to your wedding.
But here's the catch - you have to be a current parishoner, or live within the parish boundaries to have your wedding there - so if you don't live in the area, you're SOL. The minimum donation for the ceremony is $2000. If they don't allow outside musicians, it is highly unlikely they allow outside clergy, so I think your uncle is out of the question.
Give them a call and ask your questions...
212-753-2261
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Hey Gals!
I am in the beginning phases of wedding planning and I would love to get married in St Patrick's Cathedral. I do not belong to the parish, and while I am a practicing Catholic, my fiance is not. We have already agreed that our children would be raised Catholic. Also, my uncle is a Catholic deacon in NJ, would they let him perform the service? Lastly, does anyone know how much their fee is? Thanks a million!