(Closed) quandry over number of guests and costs

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@BeeG35:  We’ve attended DW and we’ve never been given a “head’s up” about the cost. I assume most responsible, considerate people would research the general cost of lodging/airfare prior to RSVPing affirmatively. For example, we recently declined to attend a DW because I ran the numbers and we simply couldn’t afford it at this time. If you did book a block of rooms, you can list the cost/night for reference. I would assume most people know that a longer trip = higher costs.

Post # 4
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

As the bride, you really don’t have to give people any financial estimates for the trip.  They can research that on their onw.

 

You can however, set up a wedding website, that does give hotel recs, dining recs, activity ideas, how to get there (aka which hotel and which car rental company to use).  stuff like that.

 

I had a DW planned once upon a time.  It was really hard to hear my family complain about the costs and ask if it was important for them to be there or not.  I just felt so guilty about it all.

Post # 5
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

The ladies on the Destination boad can also tell you what percent of the guests showed up roughly.

It will be hard to get an idea of who is coming b ecause then you have to find the proper venue that would fit them all should they show up, but you don’t know prior if they are!

We are planning a destination wedding still, but we only have 2 guests now. 

Post # 6
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

No advice- I started to do a DW but then it got really confusing and hard to set up over the phone so we nixed the idea. Good luck and just try to get as much information as possible to put out toward your guests so that they can either make plans or decline early.

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You need to plan the same way you would for a non destination wedding. You don’t wait to have 100% numbers to book things, you just book and invite people, if they can make it great if not thats too bad. Do the same thing, sit down and decide a rough number of people you would like to invite and go by those numbers until you have RSVPs a few weeks before the actual wedding. When calling the resort find out about specialty pricing for groups sized like yours, most will offer up a block of rooms for a discounted price upto a certain date, and many do this at no or very minimal charge to you. then you can tell your guests such and such resort will offer you this price/night. Guests can figure out their own expenses such as flights, meals, etc.

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sienna76:  I’m sorry but I am appalled that your family complained about the cost and asked if it was important that they came. That’s really hurtful!

OP, the amount of people that show up will vary depending on the location. We went to a DW in Maui in high season and the couple ended up with basically all close family members and one or two friends since Maui is an expensive touristy location. That means about 50% of the original guest list came.

We did a wedding that is local to us but we did invite OOT guests. I would say we had about 70% turnout for the OOT guests but the people that did decline did not do it bc of costs but bc they had existing plans (so they say). However, while we picked a local resort town to have our wedding, the surrounding area has many lower-priced but still nice hotels within driving distance.

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