Quarter-life Crisis? Is this a thing?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

It’s totally a thing! I went through it recently myself. But the important this is to kind of…block out the pressures of society and DO NOT compare yourself to others. You don’t know the reality of their situation, so don’t compare yourself to their highlights. What I did to get out of it was to decide what was important to ME and then started working towards it. It’s hard, but doable, so just take a deep breath, and don’t do anything just because you feel like you ‘should’, because you’ll just resent it and be miserable!

Post # 3
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I recommend the book, “20 something, 20 everything”. It gives great perspective on living this decade of life in our times. It used to be that people were more established at an earlier age, and for many, myself included, it leads to feelings on inadequacy when you’re not quite there yet.

Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

megz06:  Your post was very well-written, and really tugged at my heart strings.  I definitely think you are experiencing a bit of an identity crisis, going from an independent/career powerhouse to being a wife and mother.  Both equally respectable and awesome roles!!!  I can promise you are not alone.  In fact, my friends whom are in their early 30’s experienced the same things post children, in bigger cities from yours.  I think it is a really hard adjustment, and one that people do not really open up about, for fear that they are ‘failing’ at being a ‘perfect’ mom by admitting they miss a piece of their old selves.  The get-up-and-go woman, whom enjoyed a post work cocktail with friends, but now has traded it in for baby bottles….

In the end, it sounds like you are an incredible mom, whom supports her husband, etc.  It is easy to look around at what everyone else is doing, and think you are not doing enough.  I do not think it equates to being ‘better’ or ‘happier’ in life!! 

But, you are seeking advice on how to branch out more, and a few ideas that came to mind are as follows, but it sounds like you have really limited resources in your small town, so perhaps they are not feasible…

1)  Could you or do you want to go back to school for anything??  Online courses you could take in something of interest to further your education, and give you something ‘more’ to strive for??

2) You mentioned Zumba courses in the following city over…would becoming a fitness course instructor interest you?  Zumba, Spinning, Yoga…something you could be certified in doing, of which would make a huge impact on others as well?! 🙂

3) Could you coordinate a ‘mommy & kids’ group with fellow community mother’s, and see if there is interest in getting together, talking, doing fun or different things.  It would allow you to meet others, and potentially jump start other things like a women’s “Book Clue” – where you drink and wine, and ‘talk’ books.

 

IDK…I hope this helps.  I wish you all the luck in finding or reviving your identity, but it sounds like you are doing pretty damn good in this thing called life.

Post # 5
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

megz06:  OK I am going to key into some key words here. Your question what do you have to show for yourself. What do you want to show for yourself? You say you had the sense of fulfillment before with your job. Is that where things are different now? You have to key into exactly what you think needs to change in order to work towards your goals. Do you think its becoming more involved? Do you think thats something you can accomplish in your current job? The only telltale difference that I gathered between you and your husband is that he has more of a social network. However, I cant tell if this matters since you said in your previous job where you felt fulfilled that you didnt have friends except for your coworkers. If things could be exactly the way you wanted, what would you want to be different?

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