(Closed) Question!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Gay or not (it shouldn’t make a difference!!) – they are dating and living together and as such are a social unit. Perhaps it is simply an oversight.  I think that saying something about him bringing his boyfriend is warranted. They should have been invited together in the first place.

Post # 4
Member
9620 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@vanilla44:  Oh my gosh, that’s terrible.  Is it possible it was an innocent oversight?  Maybe they just couldn’t remember his name for the invitation and assumed your BIL would bring him. 

My FBIL is gay also and has lived with his partner for 20 years – everyone knows they’re a couple and would never dream of inviting one and excluding the other.  Partners are a social unit and not to invite both is very rude, IMO.  I hope it was just an oversight!

Post # 5
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with @MsMindle (Hi friend!).  The boyfriend is a very significant other, regardless of the couple’s sexual and relationship choices, and should be treated as such.  A simple phone call, like “Hi Cousin Sally, I noticed my boyfriend Jack’s name was not on the invitation sent to our home.  I do hope he is welcome.”

If Cousin Sally says no, she is the one committing the faux-pas, and the couple has every right to decline the invitation.

Post # 6
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would be offended!!!

Post # 8
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@vanilla44:  GEEZ, that not only breaks etiquette, it is also very bigoted.  I’m sorry your BIL and his boyfriend have to deal with these people.

Post # 9
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@futuremrsfitz18:  Hello my darling. 🙂

 

@vanilla44:  That’s just downright shameful. They have every right to be offended and saddened by this.

Post # 11
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@vanilla44:  Erm, not in my opinion. They are out of line…and if they did it because of his sexuality…then I have to assume they are prepared to defend their choice. If they did it because they are trying to keep numbers down and in their opinion, he doesn’t “need” a plus one…then they will have an answer to that too.

Your hubs should totally say something (but pose it in a non-confrontational way that doesn’t indicate that you suspect they are being bigoted).

Post # 12
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have a feeling it wasn’t an oversight since they labelled your in-laws invite to include your BIL, definately not a mistake. This is one case where I would Skip RSVP’ing and just bring the BF regardless, they can’t very well say anything without showing themselves to be discriminating douches.

 

Post # 14
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t help but wonder if the couple themselves are fine with it, but maybe the girl’s FI’s family is hardcore against it and they just didn’t want to cause issues. No matter the reason this couple was wrong to exclude the bf.

Post # 15
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@vanilla44:  She seriously said that? Wtf. Also, they sent his invitation to his parents’ house, despite him being, you know, an adult, and living elsewhere? Ugh.

Post # 16
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

What asses.

Personally, if this were my family and our friends, that would be grounds for ALL of us declining the wedding. You want to be my friend, you be nice to my family. End of story.

(I think that etiquette-wise, the only thing you CAN do is decline in prostest, but if you reaalllly wanted to make a point, go purchase the cheapest thing on the registry, like one melon baller, and send it with a group card from all of you, including the boyfriend, wishing them a nice, sheltered life together).

The topic ‘Question!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors