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so far! 10 months down 5 to go! :-)
but we are both virgins. I've heard (and seen in my friends) if one or both of the couple aren't virgins, then decide to try and wait, it will be VERY hard.
Thanks, that's very inspiring ladies! We weren't virgins when we got together so um yeah...that made things difficult haha. Good luck to those of you still waiting :)
We've been together for almost six years and are waiting for the wedding night. Less than two months! :)
This is kind of unrelated.. But my BF & I were trying to wait until marriage (okay, I WAS, he WASN'T lol) and we failed 1.5 months in.. I was a virgin, he was not. I actually feel like waiting can be pretty amazing because it really builds a sexual frustration inside that is great to unleash when it finally happens. The fact that you aren't a virgin and are trying to wait until your wedding night pretty much gaurentees an absolutely blissful honeymoon :] my BF & I are actually going to do a 2 week abstinence of our own so that we can kind of "re-live" that first time experience (sorry for TMI lol)..
@KatNewby: LOL I love what you said: "my BF & I are actually going to do a 2 week abstinence of our own so that we can kind of "re-live" that first time experience
My post got eaten! I was trying to say: what you said made me laugh because my boyfriend suggested the same thing. We keep trying to wait (and failing) so he finally said "let's just stop a couple months before our wedding". UM that's not what I had in mind mister! Oh well. We'll prob try abstinence again. And fail. Again. Waiting just makes it harder in a way because of that tension :)
We waited till marriage for lots of reasons, and were both virgins prior to getting married. I am very, very glad we did. I realize that it's not what everyone chooses, and to each their own, but for us it was definitely the right choice.
@KatNewby: We did the same thing! We stopped a few months out from our wedding date and failed miserably.
FI isn't a virgin, but I am. Waiting doesn't line up with his moral code really, but he respects me enough to wait with me :). Unless we both get drugged or something, lol, I can't imagine us not making it since we've waited thus far!
We are and plan on making it. I do know a lot of my friends who did/are waiting for marriage, it is possible. It just takes effort.
I have been waiting all my life.....
We are waiting until we are married to kiss, touch, or do anything sexual. So, far we are doing a great job of course with God's help. Therefore, I would say we count for being ones who are waiting. However, we do believe it will be well worth it!
Honestly, I think one of the biggest things about waiting is that it should be a mutual decision between both partners. It's a lot harder when you feel like the only one "waiting" for that special moment, & it makes it QUITE a bit easier to just say "oh screw it!" (pun funny intended ;] )
Ohh & to @jenk00004:, I think it's cute that you failed in a wierd way, I mean, isn't that kind of what we wish for!? If the tension is there before the waiting period is over, it just means your goal was achieved before deadline! :P
@MuchGreater: Egads I can't imagine waiting until the wedding to even kiss. I have a friend that's been at some very religious weddings where that's been the case (and never alone so if she cooked him dinner, they'd eat downstairs in the lobby of her building where there were people, etc.), but it's *definitely* not for me. Maybe you won't like kissing him when the time comes!
I think it's one of those things that really depends on the couple.
We didn't wait, and I'm glad we didn't. I feel confident about our decision to have sex before we tied the knot.
However, my sister and her husband did wait and dated for three years before marrying. They say they are so glad they waited because it's something they both firmly believed in. Because they were both totally 100% committed to waiting, they said it wasn't all that hard.
I think either way, both people have to be on board for it to be successful if you want to wait.
Well I just wanted to say congratulations to those who are waiting and are sticking to their guns. Its very sweet.
@MuchGreater: I personally couldn't do it, but kudos to you for holding steadfast to what you believe in! :)
DH and I totally failed at waiting, he was a virgin I was not.... BUT I can say that a few months out we gave that BACK to God and He totally redeemed that!.. No we didn't "white-knuckle it" we really submitted it and God helped take that from us.. DH took a little longer but man as he drew to God in prayer God met him right where he was and cleansed his heart & mind!
We knew that by submitting that back to Him and letting Him work in our hearts totally again that we conquered that generational curse for our children and we grew SO much together AND individually!
On the wedding night we talked about how great God is and how amazing the work he did in us was, we both cried knowing that God truly redeemed that and It was SO worth it!
We're waiting. There's a countdown on the fridge that says "23 days until virginity expiration."
we are waiting. he's a virgin, i'm not. in the beginning it was hell for me, and totally easy for him, now i've gotten used to it and he's the one who's feeling it. but we only have 6 and a half months to go, so i'm sure we'll make it.
@helenberrycrunch: Do you mind if I pm you? I have a question :)
Me and FI are. He isn't but I am a virgin, but it isn't HARD for us. We have been dating for over 3 years now, and it will be 4.5 by the time of our wedding.
You think he would be bursting in his pants, but no, we got engaged this past new years, and I wanted to have the wedding this summer but he said he wanted it next summer and I was like "REALLY? you want to wait another year?" Like it was his decision so..
Anyways, I am so glad we did it this way. so so so so so glad on a 100 gazillion different levels.
My FI and I are a bit weird... we didn't wait, but in Feb. '10 we decided to stop having sex because we knew we shouldn't for religious reasons. However, we still spent the night with each other, etc. Now we live together. Haha. It *is* hard and we're not completely pure, but there's been no nakedness or hanky-panky (a few butt grabs here and there though). It hasn't been too hard b/c FI wakes up at 5 a.m. most days and I wake up at 9 a.m. most days (I work at home). So he goes to bed waaay before I do, so there's really no time!
I'm looking forward to when it's over though.
@helenberrycrunch: That's kind of funny. If we didn't host church group sometimes at his apartment I would think about doing that to his fridge. They're all married but I know it would ruffle the more conservative feathers.
We're both waiting- my parents got me a chastity ring (an actual ring v. a TLW ring so I can pass it on one day) when I was 16 but was very conscious of my decision much earlier. It helps that we both have been aware from day 1 that sex is just not on the table while not married.
YES! My fiance and I both have had sex previously however not with each other. BEST DECISION EVER. NOT only have we both grown closer in OUR relationship with each other but we each have individually with God. We've made it almost 4 years. WOW, it was very hard at first but we both made the decision prior to meeting each other and it's been the best thing ever. At first I questioned if I would be able to "fall in love" wihtout the intimacy.....Wow, I was so wrong. I love this man whole heartedly and deeply. I cannot wait to share this special gift with him. I know our relationship has been blessed b/c of our decision. However, we're down to T minus 10 days now! :) hahha. Keep us posted. You can do it!
PS I put the kabosh on messing around as well. It's not right to do everything "but" sex. Trust me ....very hard......but so worth it! And, for his wedding present, he's getting boudoir photos the night before the wedding ;)
Oh wow, I couldn't imagine waiting. I have to know that we're good to go in the intimacy department before committing the rest of my life to someone! And what if he's a bad kisser...yikes. I guess if two virgins in a relationship have no one else to compare to, they won't even know what bad sex is?
More power to the ones with amazing will power!
well im jelous of the bees who stuck to waiting till marrige :(
anywho when me and the so met he was not a virgin but i was in almost everything expet kissing. i lost it to him around a year and a half by accident !! lol then every two months or more we would slip and have sex. i really fellt like i was betraying god when i did the act, but onestly im human and god knows how hard it was for me. right now its still not an always thing , every month ..month and a half i guess
i still wish i waited....really really wish i had :(.... ehh
he makes it hard ! darnet !!!.
@techie: That's the great part, I don't know what "good sex" is so whatever I have with my hubby will be good sex! And if it sucks, we have 60 or 70 years to fix it. Though to be honest, we have kissed but not beyond that. I do know at least he isnt a bad kisser ;)
@chasesgirl: I may not agree with Joshua Harris on everything, but I did like his sentiment about that.
@techie: I'm with you on that one. I think I'd much rather know what he's like in bed before I commit to a lifetime with him! I think it shows amazing commitment to wait, though. Seriously, kudos to all of you!!!
@Knubbsy-Wubbsy: I had to look up who that is. Never read the books but sentiment is there for sure.
I'm not totally sure I'm confident enough to marry someone who isn't a virgin (FI is luckily!). I would always worry if I were as good as the girl before me!
@chasesgirl: I read the first and skimmed the second. I can see how for some they could be good but I felt when I was old enough to be the target audience they were talking down to me where I was developmentally.
@KatNewby: Thanks, I hadn't looked at it that way :) I'm certainly glad the spark is there! In fact, I had a friend who had been with her SO for only 6 months (they weren't waiting) and she was actually envious me and my boyfriend's love life. Hehe apparently it's above average even though we've been together a couple of years! I do hope that we can go back to waiting but that would be incredibly difficult...good problem to have!
@amnystik: Thank you for your post, I was hoping I'd come across someone who failed at waiting and then gave that part of their lives back to God with success. It's very inspiring!
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