(Closed) Question about Bed Bath and Beyond registry cards…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@sheepandbear:  I do understand your concerns. However, in the US at least, it is not considered to be proper etiquette to include registry information with your wedding invitations.

However, it is perfectly fine for your mother and others who are very close to you to pass along information by word of mouth  to any guests who may ask them where you and your Fiance are registered.

Post # 4
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you’re having a shower you can have whoever is throwing the shower for you to inform the guests.  Or have your parents/bridal party spread word by mouth.  Hopefully if you get stuff you don’t want/like you can return or exchange the item for somethine that you’d use.  Your mom has to call your great aunt back! Ack… she really won’t reconsider?  Otherwise, you have to graciously accept the gift :/  Short of a website I don’t know what to suggest for you.  You can put a link to your wedding site and list where you’re registered on there… Mother-In-Law told elderly family where we’re registered since they don’t do technology…. can you have a different aunt or cousin or someome tell your great aunt?


Post # 5
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If these are people you know and love and who YOU believe you can talk to about this sort of thing, jsut add a little note to their individual invites explaining things. Why would it bother them? Why would you seem money grabby? What does etiquete matter? You’re family. 🙂

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@sheepandbear:  These queries always seem faintly insulting. How much “older” are all these geezers who not only apparently cannot use the internet, but also cannot walk into the three or four most common registry-supporting stores and simply ask the staff if you are registered there? Or phone the stores, for that matter. Even if they are older than my eighty-year-old brother the system-support provider, they can use the same twentieth-century methods they’ve been using since the 1950’s for discovering where your registry is — registries do pre-date the internet.

But try to understand, they may not want to hunt up your registry, even if they are far more internet-savvy than they get credit for. No-one is obliged to follow the dictates of your registry when they decide to exercise the option of giving you a gift. They may think that they have good taste and be enjoying the thought of sharing their taste with you: in which case your oblique hints that you think their taste is shoddy — which is very well what they may infer when you include a card to tell them where to shop and what for — can be expected to rob their gift-giving of any pleasure.

The tactful, kind, gracious, hospitable way to make sure that your intimate friends and extended family know your taste, is to invite them into your home. Have them over for tea or dinner. Serve them on your good china, so that they know what your pattern is and what pieces you are missing. Cook your favourite dish and show off how rewarding high-quality cookware can be. Discuss with them over dessert the types of orchids you wish you could grow in your tiny window-side container garden that has no room for a garden-gnome. And then, if you still get “tchotchke”, console yourself as you throw it out with the thought that it’s the thought that counts — and you probably would have gotten the same thing even if you had decided to send the tastely little hint-card, but with the added chagrin that you had done something to deserve the tasteless gifts.

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