Question about Bridal Shower and Bachelorette etiquette/timing.

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I actually had a friend that did this. She had her bridal shower that morning/afternoon and the bachelorette party was that evening. Unfortunately, I was out of town as a bridesmaid in another wedding so I couldn’t attend either event but I think it worked out nicely for her and no one had any issues with it. If I wasn’t in the wedding I would have gone and I wouldn’t have had an issue with it. Just depends on the person. It is a lot but it also gets it all done in one day which is kind of nice for those who have super crazy schedules. Just my thoughts 🙂

Post # 3
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would actually prefer this. You’re going to be askng the guests to commit to both events anyways so I don’t think it matters if it’s split up between two different weekends or if it’s so on the same day.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  .
Post # 4
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it’s a bad idea. I have heard of others doing this. Especially if a lot of people are coming from OOT. 

Post # 5
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

FutureLadyL:  I think it’s a great idea!

My friend did this and it worked out great! Also, it’s a lot easier on your guests. Instead of 2 days for the wedding events it’s on one. If mine wasn’t already planned I’m pretty sure my MOH would have done this, but she found out about it afterwards. I say go for it, it’s very smart!

Post # 6
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think its a much better plan than to have them on the same day. Not only do people not have to keep 2 seperate weekends free but, it makes it a lot easier for out of town guests!

Personally speaking I would much rather spend one day on someones pre-wedding festivities than 2 or more.


Post # 7
1499 posts
Bumble bee

We did this for my FSIL last year! I wouldn’t hold a morning event though, that makes for a very long day. What we did was a bridal shower afternoon, it started at 2:00pm, and we had light snacks and lunch-y type foods, and the official shower was over by about 5:00pm. We had it out at an aunt’s big acreage house, and had the option of campin overnight for anyone who wanted to (though we all ended up passing out all over her house haha!). As people like grandparents etc. left around 5pm, once they were gone, we changed up the decor a bit- think adding pin the weiner on the guy games, everyone grabbed bead necklaces and we gave the bride a new bachelorette sash and we made a real dinner- burgers, lasagna, salads etc. and moved on into the evening stuff. It was all at the aunt’s house, which was relaly nice and made for a semi relaxed but still fun evening.

Here are some pictures, starting with the shower portion:

Sorry the pics are dark!!

And then as the guests who weren’t joining us for the evening portion left, we brought out the margarita machine, gave her a new sash, brought out the cake her grandma made (we asked for a penis cake, thought it would be in the shape of a penis- nope, she actually scultped a penis onto a man sake, complete with chocolate sprinkled pubes bahha!!)

We ended the night drinking around the fire, but at that point my camera had died lol!

Post # 10
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

FutureLadyL:  My sister did this (because I was living out of state). We had paint ball bachelorette in the morning on Saturday and a bridal shower Sunday at 11 am. Almost no one went paint balling on Saturday because they all have kids and couldn’t make it to more than one event in the same weekend (4 including my sister and I came). Then of course there were people who couldn’t make it that weekend, which means they missed both events instead of one. For the people who attends both, you commandeer their weekend. The bridal shower was nice, but to be honest, at the end of the weekend, we were both exhausted. When it was time to pick dates for my bridal shower and bachelorette party, we both agreed to have them on different weekends. It can be done, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Post # 11
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My brother’s FI is doing something similar to this because her family and sister (and sister in law, moi!) are all out of state. I think it will be super fun and I’d rather just go all day Saturday than fly down twice or miss something. Travel less = awesome.

Post # 12
2798 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


FutureLadyL:  We did this for mine too and I will say it was very nice.  It left me with more free weekends too, and since my MOH, like your sister, was out of state it did mean only travling once for her.  I think it’s best to do a same day thing, but I think you might be best off with a lunch shower instead of Brunch.   We went right form my shower to my bachlorett party with a little time to change in between.  

I would totally do it this way again, and really wished that the wedding I’m in at the end of the month’s shower host would have consulted with the bridal party about shower dates (I was on my honeymoon and the MOH was out of state) so we could have done the same thing.  I really think comendering one weekend is much better than comendeering three.  If people can’t show up for one weekend, they likely aren’t going to show up for two. 

Post # 13
1256 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Everyone in my family has done this due to travel. It has never been an issue. It does make for a long day for whoever is hosting the shower.

Post # 14
1499 posts
Bumble bee

FutureLadyL:  No problem! My pictures came out so dark but it was a bright pretty day, I swear! Her grandma bakes cakes all the time for people, so when we asked her for a penis cake she chuckled and agreed… well when she came in with the cake we all just died laughing, it was amazing!!!

Overall, it was a really fun day. You will find people recommending all sides- two seperate weekends, all in one weekend (bach. saturday night and shower sunday), seperate weekends altother- just do what makes sense to you. I have been to all three types and they all work just fine. I would base your decision on who can come- the most important people to you are the priority. If your list of “mushave” people can do an all in one day event, go for it! If you don’t mind missing some people, split them onto seperate weekends!

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