Post # 1
I was just wondering, is it weird for the groom to be there if it’s not a jack and jill? Mine is not a J&J, but it’s a surprise other than the date. I know my mother asked my fiance to drive me, and he agreed but now he is backing out. Kinda saying he’s got something to do… when he really doesn’t. Was it totally wrong to have him be asked to take me or something? It’s not a J&J but he’s not the only guy that would be there since a couple uncles and brother from my family will be there. I guess I just don’t see what the big deal is, why can’t he? Gifts are for him too! If he will not then.. someone else will, but I was a bit hurt as he most certainly will know every single person there, and there’s several of his relatives that *I* don’t know (as his sis handled their side of the “list”), and curious about this– is this so uncommon for the guy to do?
So, what do you normally see the groom do, there for the whole thing, at the end, not at all?
Post # 3
I would think it would be weird for the groom to be there if its not J&J. I think it would be totally boring for him! My husband wasnt there for any part of my shower and that was just fine with me. I think thats what is normal. Maybe ask him to drive you to the shower but tell him he doesnt have to come in.
Post # 4
I understand why he wouldn’t want to go hang out with a bunch of girls and do girly things. If it’s not coed, usually I only see the guys come at the end (to help carry the gifts) or not at all.
Post # 5
Yeah I do think it’s strange to have him there the whole time. My husband showed up towards the end to say hi to everyone and thank them, and to load up the car. But he would have been bored out of his mind if he was there the whole time.
Post # 6
most of the bridal showers I’ve heard of have are usually just women
Post # 7
I’ve been to showerswhere the groom does drive the bride-to-be, but then drops her off, b/c let’s face it, they will get bored quickly! Some stick around with the dads if it’s in a restaurant and eat, and then come back near the end to help carry the gifts.
Sometimes a close friend brings the friend if it’s a surprise — so I’ve seen both ways.
Post # 8
Ive been to two showers where the husband to be stayed and opened presents with the bride. But usually the husband just stops in to drop off the bride, says hi to everyone and then leaves again.
Post # 9
My FI was there the whole time – but his family threw the shower for me and they have weird traditions. He escorted me into the room and stayed while they did introductions. Then he went to another room to hang out with his Dad for the rest of the time. Oh – and they opened the presentation cards and counted the money while I was opening the gifts at the shower. At the end I was handed cash, a pile of opened cards and a list of how much everyone gave me. So bizarre. I guess it depends on what your family wants to do!
Post # 10
Maybe everyone pitched in together and got you guys one large gift… like a patio set or a BBQ or something like that and they want to give it to you guys together?
If they specifically requested that he drive you, then there is probably a some kind of reason for it.
Post # 11
I told him he could just drop me off or leave right after coming in for however short he wants but he still said no, said he wouldn’t be able to leave. Which is weird… because there’s a lot of things he’s gone to without me supposedly because he wasn’t staying long. So I don’t see why he can’t leave… or if he were to stay why he can’t be with my uncles/brother. Just kind of feels sad that he won’t do it especially his “can’t leave” excuse
Post # 12
@yassim: you should get someone in your family/group of friends (or even his mother) to call him and make the request
He will probably have a harder time saying no to them.
Post # 13
@jenna.888: my mother plans to call him tonight, as she asked but he has only been addressing it to me. She plans to tell him if he can’t drive me there that she doesn’t think he should go at all.
He does things like this, so it’s not an isolated incident, unfortunately =/ But I worry what that will sound like to those who don’t understand that, like that we’re being nutso! He goes back and forth with doing things and lying to get out of things, and it’s not like much more than 2 events happen in a year, not a busy family… but everyone’s driving me nuts saying why can’t he just do this and leave if he wants? Why is it so hard? Now I feel like it’s not a happy time…
Post # 14
IMO it’s pretty normal for the guy to escort you in and then show up at the end to help you bring home the girfts. I had my FI stay for the whole time when his family threw me a shower because I wasn’t comfortable not knowing everyone. He didn’t come at all to the one my family threw me though. I guess it depends on however you feel most comfortable. If he doesn’t want to go, and you don’t care either way, then don’t make him come, but if you want him there, he should suck it up and just do it. The gifts are for him as well.
Post # 15
My FI just came by a bit early since it was mainly his family hosting it. It worked out perfectly, most of the men showed up close to the end.