Post # 1
So DH and I are not even TTC for at least a year, but I have a question/concern. DH is Catholic and attends church every Sunday. I am agnositc and very rarely attend church with him. I was baptised Catholic but do not agree with a lot of the church’s beliefs. We have discussed raising our children, and have agreed to baptize our children since it is important to DH, but to not force them to confirmation unless it is their choice.
Anyway, SIL just baptized their daughter, and told me that they had to take baptism classes prior to the baptism (1 time/week for a few weeks). The priest went over all of the reasons for baptism and made sure they knew why they were doing it, etc. My question is… is this required?????? I honestly don’t know if I could sit through the classes and “pretend” to support the reasons for baptism. I don’t mean to be rude or insensitive, but I’m just saying that it would feel fake to me, and like I was lying. Do both parents have to be present? Are these classes required or just optional?
Thanks for the advice bees!
Post # 3
Yes, these classes are required. I can’t tell you much because I haven’t been through them, but there are a ton of websites for this. As long as you can agree with allowing your husband raise your kids Catholic, they should have no problem with your faith. The Catholic church much rahter have your kids baptised than not baptised.
Post # 4
We only had to do one “class” that was bascially just a rehearsal of the ceremony. So, I would say that it varies by diocese and parish. I don’t remember having to do or say anything that directly said I was agreeing with catholicism (apart from being there in the first place). I would check the website of your parish to see what they require. Catholics are allowed to marry non-catholics, so the church would not make a hindu or jewish parent say anything that goes against their beliefs at the baptism.
Post # 6
My Mom is Shinto, and my Dad was Catholic. I was baptized as Catholic, and they had no issue with it. I’ll be honest, my Dad was an EastMas catholic at best, so he wasn’t actively involved in the classes. At best, they smiled and nodded through the whole thing.
Post # 5
Catholics are allowed to marry non-Catholics, but technically they’re only allowed to marry Baptized Christians, so theoretically, both parents should believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
I don’t have anything helpful to add, I was raised Greek Orthodox which has some similar rules on who you’re allowed to marry, so I’m not allowed to marry my Jewish fiance in the church, but I don’t want to get married in the church or baptise my children.
Post # 7
hollyberry4: It depends on the parish. Our parish did require classes, but the parish I used to belong to had no adult classes in the faith of any kind. Basically, at our parish, there is a Catholicism 101 course that is three sessions. While those in RCIA have to be involved in more instruction than that, the class fits that partial obligation. It’s also required for anyone getting married and when an infant was baptized. That said, I graduated from a Catholic University with a reputation for being very orthodox, so they waived the requirement for us.
You would have to ask the parish about the content of the class and whether one parent attending suffices.
Post # 8
You sound just like me and my FI. I had no idea this was even a requirement. I don’t expect it will be much of a problem, since you already had to promise during the wedding to raise the kiddos Catholic anyway. I was baptized Catholic and my mom is Protestant so I know there was no issue there.
As an aside…It does bother me that in the church’s eyes I am Catholic just because I was baptized as a baby…I literally never went to church as a kid and I don’t believe in it but they consider me Catholic anyway! Oh well. Like you I told FI he gets to raise any kids of ours in the church, but when they are old enough they get to decide their own beliefs even if it means they won’t keep going to church.
Post # 9
LibrarianBride: I was baptized Catholic, too! I never attended Catholic church as a child or adult though. I found it odd that since I was baptized we did not have to ask for a dispensation to get married to DH, but if I hadn’t been baptized I would have had to get one. What are you doing about first communion? Will your child/future child have one?
Post # 10
hollyberry4: Yes, being baptized certainly has made it a bit more straightforward to get married in the church, but I certianly find the whole fact that something my parents had done for me when I was two months old can have any bearing on my religious affiliation, regardless of the fact that I don’t believe it!
As for first communion I don’t know yet…since we’re not married yet and obviosly not TTC we haven’t talked about a specific age when we feel they will be old enough to say they do or don’t want to continue. I’m guessing they will probably do first communion and then decide before confirmation if it’s something they want to commit to. I figure if the church feels kids are ready at that age to make that commitment then it’s also a fair age to say they can make their own decision on the matter. Have you and your DH worked out those details yet?
Post # 11
LibrarianBride: no we just started talking about it last night. He had assumed they would be firts communion, and I kind of forgot about the whole thing. I’m not a fan of having kids make those kinds of decisions anout religion when they are too young to really understand it, but I guess it can’t hurt. I just told DH that they will be exposed to different kinds of religions and different ways of thinking along the way, too. He is fine with that.