question about changing names when married?

posted 2 years ago in Names
Post # 2
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Some people take their maiden name as their new middle name.  Some states have issues with two middle names (if the person isn’t planning on hyphenating).

Post # 3
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am in the process. I took my maiden name as my second middle name. I could have dropped my own middle name at the same time, but I did not. So I now official will be first middle maiden last, but I could have done first maiden last instead. I’m not sure yet if having two middle (and long names) will be wonderful or a big pain! 

Post # 4
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


angiedoll:  Good question. I have never really figured that out either. I dropped my maiden name but kept my middle name. My parents picked out specific middle name for me that has meaning for them and for me too now that I am an adult…I would never, ever just throw it away.

Post # 5
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t want to completely get rid of my maiden name, so I did drop my middle name and my new middle name is my maiden name. It was what made the most sense for me. 

Post # 6
550 posts
Busy bee

I have a slightly different view point. I loathe my middle name. It has no meaning to me, I have never associated myself with it and since I was about 7 I knew I would be getting rid of it as soon as possible. Heck, I might have been the only 11 year researching how to legally change your name (my folks were very upset when they found out. I very reasonably pointed out if they had chosen a nice name I wouldn’t have to. I was a very mouthy child). My maiden name is a name that I have used and asscoiated with since I could talk. Why would I keep a name that I refuse to tell people and get rid of one I love? For me personally, it always made sense to do it that way but I know that others prefer to keep their middle name. To each their own!

Post # 7
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Idropped my middle name and replaced it with my paternal grandmother’s first name. I wanted to honor her/my father’s family.

Post # 8
10883 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I originally wanted my new name to be “First Middle Maiden Last,” where my maiden name would have been a second middle name, not a double last name.  I have two friends who did this, and I thought it was the perfect solution.  However, one of those friends told me what a pain that decision turned out to be, when her employer (the federal govenment) hyphenated her maiden and last names in their computer system, and her doctors and other providers filed her in their systems in different ways, some under her maiden name, others under her last name.  Beyond that, the department of motor vehicles in the state in which I changed my name would not permit what they viewed as an unhyphenated double last name (even though it would have been a double middle name and not a double last name.) 

Finally, the “First Maiden Middle” name change (with the woman dropping her given middle name) actually is considered to be the “formal, traditional” manner in which women in the US have changed their names throughout history (although this definitely appears to be a very regional thing.) My own mother did this, along with at least one of my grandmothers and one of DH’s grandmothers.

Because of all of these factors, I dropped my given middle name and legally took my maiden name as my new middle name when I took my husband’s last name. 

Post # 9
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

It really depends on the person and how they feel about their middle name. As far as I know, theres no legal limit to how many middle names you can have, but people will drop their middle name to keep their last name as their new middle name just for convenience sake.

A friend of mine has 4 given middle names because it became a tradition in her family to add the new babies name to previous generations names. So her name is hers, her moms, her grandmas, great grandmas, great great grandmas, last. On forms and stuff she usually just uses the first middle name on the list, but her birth certificate actually lists all those names under her middle name. 

I have no emotional ties to my middle name, but I also think my last name would sound stupid as a middle name. A different friend of mine her maiden name was perfect as a middle name because it was already a name, so she dropped her middle to keep her maiden. Legally though you dont HAVE  to drop your middle name, you can just add on. 

Post # 10
32 posts

I go primarily by my middle name. Im thinking of dropping my first name and making my maiden name my last name and FIs name the last name. What do you guys think? This has also made me freak out about wording on invites as NO ONE knows me by my first name 

Post # 11
242 posts
Helper bee

I never knew women dropped their middle name for their maiden name until I saw it on here, so I’m not sure if that’s formal ettiquette or regional. All the ladies I know, my family, and friends just drop their maiden name. I can not wait to change my last name to my fiancees. I dislike my maiden name for several reasons. I am adopted so it is not the blood that runs in my veins, i was abused by adopted father so that name is extremely tainted, hard to spell and pronounce as well. Plus my married name will be very cute! Just my two cents on the topic. I do think its great that there are so many options for people to choose.

Post # 12
1314 posts
Bumble bee

I wil keep  my name because I have two boys and want to have their last name.  The SO is fine with it.

Post # 14
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I dropped my middle name because it didn’t have any particular meaning.  I wanted to keep my maiden name as part of my name because it has more meaning for me.

Post # 15
84 posts
Worker bee

If I took my husband’s name, I’ve always known I’d be First Middle Original Husband- I would never lose my middle name, it’s my grandmother’s name. <3

Incidentally, when I took my Jewish name, I took three names: New Name-Jewish First Name-Jewish Middle Name.  I have the longest goddamn Jewish name in Jewish history.  What can I say?  I’m attached to my name.  And I’m really, REALLY Jewish.

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