Post # 1
Ok so I have no idea what to do.I have found a florist in my small town that I like and really want to go ahead and book her.My mom thinks it’s too early but isn’t opposed to it.However, the real problem lies in the fact that my Future Mother-In-Law went to floral design school, does flowers frequently for her church, and has done numerous neices/nephews wedding flowers.I do not want her doing my boquets etc. just for the fact that I don’t know what exactly I want, however I still have an opinion if I don’t like it (awful I know), and I really don’t think I could be as open and honest with her as I could be with a professional florist of which I have no familial connection.Well Fiance just told me tonight that he does not want me to book a florist until I’ve spoken with his mother because he thinks it is inconsiderate to not at least consult her since it is an area in which she knows about.I am not opposed to this or even to her doing an arrangement of some sort to be at the church but I do not want her doing all of my flowers and I have no idea how to tell her or how to even brooch the subject.Do you guys have any suggestions? (P.S. sorry this is so long, I just needed to rant a little)
Post # 3
I actually am going through something of that sort. One of my closest friend in the world has offered to do my flowers for me, she is a florist and does weddings often. However, now that my time has come closer, because she wanted me to order the flowers instead of picking them up (and me reimburse her), I am starting to get lots of “suggestions” from her… such as “these roses” are better, “you need to get it from here”, “these will work better”. Well, that’s why I wanted her to pick them up! But if she wants me to order them, then she wants to be picky abt it, then it doesn’t make sense. She is an absolute perfectionist, so if everything did not turn out as she ordered, then I am screwed. *sigh*
Since your Future Mother-In-Law may offer to do that for you, I suggest that you head that off by telling her “you are so good at doing this, that’s why I had to ask your opinion and need your help in coming up with questions to ask the florist when we hire one, I was thinking of asking you to do it, but I wouldn’t dream of making you work or putting more stress on you on the most important day of your son/my husband to be’s life”. (I tried that with my closest friend since she is also Bridesmaid or Best Man, but she wouldn’t hear of someone else doing it for my wedding. Your situation is different because FMIL will have more duty/responsibility and be less available)
Post # 4
I agree with loveapril. I would tell her something along the lines of “I would hate to put any more stree on you on the wedding day. I want you to be able to sit back and enjoy but I would really love your opinions since you know more about it than I do.”
That way she would feel included but you wouldn’t have her doing the flowers.
Post # 5
K thanks for the help!I think those are some great ideas!
Post # 6
What I have said to my mother (who wants to do the flowers AND make my wedding dress), is “Mom, I’m sure you would do an amazing job, but if I have an irrational lack-of-sleep-freakout about anything wedding related, I would rather be stressed at a stranger than someone I know and love.”
So far, that has worked.
Post # 7
I agree… ask if she wants to check out florists with you, or help you put together a list of questions to ask when you visit the florist you have in mind. That way, she will still be involved and have a little bit of control. Flowers are such a day of stress factor… there is not really prep you can do before hand (more than a day really) unless you use silk. She should understand that… she is going to have enough to deal with getting everything else ready (including herself!)