(Closed) Question about death?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

No, I haven’t done anything like this.

I feel like death is a part of life.. you cannot live without death. And eventually, everything will die! No sense in pretending like it’s not there, because it is, and it can strike at any time.

I’d much rather spend my time focusing on the here & now. Spending time with all the animals/people I love before they are gone.

Post # 4
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@babylo0n:  My FI is like you. It was awful when his dog died. His gran is old and sick and I’m so scared for when the day comes that she passes. 

I on the other hand work with old people. If my clients don’t come back or I can’t get hold of them I assume they’ve died. Death to me is an unfortunate reality…

I don’t really have any advice though… Sorry.

Post # 6
Member
9062 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

When I was 11, my best friend was killed.

I didn’t attend her funeral, and I regret it every moment I am alive. I want so desperately to go back in time and force myself to go so I can have one last moment with her, one last goodbye.

Death is hard, but I feel I cannot properly cope in my life unless I say my goodbyes. To pets, to whomever. It’s killing me that I cannot attend the funeral of my elementary school Principal. Sounds weird, but she was a very close family friend, and I’m 1,200 miles away.

She was such a good, kind woman, and I’m suffering because I cannot comfort her friends and family in their time of need.

Post # 8
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@babylo0n:  I don’t feel like that towards seeing dead people. I attended my first viewing at age 10 or 11 and I thought he looked so peaceful. When I went to FI’s grandmother’s funeral and viewing a couple of years ago, I was okay then, too. I am upset that I didn’t get to see my grandma one last time before burying her. I was told it was better that way, but I feel differently. FI is also death-phobic, if you will.

Seeing dead animals, namely dogs, now that’s a different story. It kills me.

Post # 9
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have a problem with death itself, because of my religious beliefs. They are very comforting. 🙂

But I am very, very sensitive to dead bodies of any kind. I have severe GAD/Panic and dead bodies are one of my triggers. I’ve never been able to go to a viewing and I have to stay far away from the casket at funerals (and take anti-anxiety medication). My fiance is leading a research project with hundreds of snakes, and once he accidentally led me through the room where they kept the dead ones before they can dispose of the bodies. I’m afraid of the entire building now.

I don’t know if that helps you feel like someone relates, but I hope it does. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I held my dog as he passed, he was 17 and we grew up together. It was so, so hard, but I had to be there for him. I know I would have regretted it if I hadn’t.

When my MIL was close to death in the hospital, they moved her out of the ward and into a room on her own. She passed with 3 of her 4 kids around her as FI was running up to the building from the carpark. He called me and I arrived about 30 min after she passed. Long story short, the family was able to spend some time in the room with her after. I stayed outside for awhile, with FI telling me I didn’t have to go in if I didn’t want to. I ended up going in. She looked peaceful, free from the pain and paralysis that had trapped her, and honestly she didn’t look any different. I kept expecting to see her chest rise and fall (it didn’t, of course). I don’t regret it. We all took the last time with her to share stories and happy memories.

I have only been to 2 funerals, one of those being my MIL’s. I found it harder being at her funeral than being in the room with her after she passed.

Post # 14
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee

@babylo0n:  I started effexor recently and it’s been helping a lot! I still have to be careful around my triggers but if I run into anything accidentally I usually don’t spill over.

Post # 15
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@babylo0n:  I feel I have similar issues with death, even though I haven’t had any particularly traumatic experiences with it. There’ve been a few fatal pedestrian/traffic accidents very close to where I live and several times I’ve walked past the aftermath and my heart just races, and I’m filed with dread, hoping I don’t see anything, then days later I am still feeling in shock. It’s the same with seeing dead animals, especially pets. It kind of scars me for a while. I also worry from time to time about something happening to my mum and how devastating it would be. I guess what I’m saying is you’re not alone, but if you feel it’s something that interfering with your life, you should seek help. But I think generally most people fear death.

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