Post # 1
It is my understanding that when your parents host your ceremony, their names go on the invite : “[my parents] request the honor of your presence at the marriage of of their daughter [me] to [fi]”
Okay maybe not the exactly wording, but you get the idea.
It is also my understanding that if the bride & groom are paying for their wedding themselves, it would be a more casual invitation : “please join [bride] and [groom] as they exchange wedding vows on [xxxxx]”.
Again, not exact wording, but you get the idea.
So my question is, if the bride & groom are paying for their wedding, but are offered a small amount of help from the brides parents, do the parents get their name? It’s technically not hosted by them.
Me and my mother have somewhat different opinions on this. She wants her name on the invites, while at the same time, I feel like it shouldn’t be as I’m footing almost all the bill for it. [Total cost around $22,000 – she is paying for the DJ [$200], and a bit of alcohol [$300].
What are your thoughts on this?
Please don’t take me as ungrateful, I certainly am not. I appreciate her offering what little she can, but at the same time, I feel like if I put her name on it, people will assume she paid for it, and honestly, I take alot of pride in me & my fi paying for the majority of our wedding, that we are financially stable enough to do so.
Post # 3
I think you either need to sit down with your mom and explain your feelings on this or suck it up and let her be on the invite. In the grand scheme of things, is this the most important thing that could start a feud between your mother? Are you willing to make things tense between you and her during this time in your life when i’m guessing you probably want her around?
Post # 4
I agree with the situations that you brought up about who is paying and who should be on the invite. I also think it is a lot about your relationship with your parents and your personal preference. We are having both sets of parents names on our invites and it has nothing to do with who is paying. We just simply would like our parents names on our invites. Ours will say
Bride’s Name & Groom’s Name
Bride’s parents’ names
Groom’s parents’ names
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
If it’s more of a big deal to her than to you,I would just go along with putting their names on there to honor them. If it’s a *really* big deal to you, stick to your guns. I like @NavyBride16: ‘s suggestion if you do put them on there.
We’re saying “Together with their families, Bride and Groom invite you to share in our joy as we unite in marriage” or something like that. So it still references our families but isn’t super traditional. (Note: my parents are paying for about 60%, his parents 30%, us 10% – but this is cool with everyone.)
Post # 6
Perhaps you can word it like this:
Together with their families
Invite you to celebrate their marriage…
Then I think it’s clear that you’re not having your family pay for all of it, but you’re still including them.
Post # 7
I can tell you that as a guest, I don’t care what the invite says. It doesn’t matter to me who is paying. So if it’s a big deal to your mom, I’d just go with it.
Post # 8
My parents aren’t paying but fiances parents are and we are still having both sets of names on the invites out of respect. i didn’t want it at first but my mother inlaw said it would be a nice gesture so I did it. Our wording is the same as NavyBride16 wording above
Post # 9
I’m going to agree with those up top. If it’s more of a big deal to her than it is to you, do the “Together with their families”…and if it really bothers you, talk to your mom about it.
I really don’t think the general public is going to read any invitation and think “Oh, well, her parents must have paid for it!”
I do, however, think it’s a nice way to honor your folks, after all, they raised this wonderful bride, who’s put together this wonderful wedding, and will surely be a wonderful wife.
Post # 10
@jenilynevette: My FI and I are in the same boat (we’re paying, moms helped with part of the dress/photography) and we worded it “<FI and I> invite you…”, but we have a page in our wedding program that thanks them for their contributions.