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Technically you are not supposed to use your married monogram until after you are married, but that's a pretty old-school etiquette rule so I know plenty of people who choose not to follow it.
My best friend's wedding theme was centered around their first initails with her FI's last name initial. It was a perfect way to tie everything in and no one thought it was in poor taste.
Habibi is right that technically you shouldn't use your married monogram until after you are married...but who is going to care? Etiquette "rule" or not, I don't think anyone will care whose monogram is on the envelope. In fact, if you put your parents' monogram on the invitation that would be rather weird and confusing. I have never heard of putting someone else's monogram on there. An alternative would be a monogram with only your first initials, which would circumvent the problem nicely.
Go with what you like. Or if you feel uncomfortable about it, you could get thank-you cards designed that feature your married monogram.
As a guest, I wouldn't think anything of it if the invitations came with the monogram on it.
I had a designer on Etsy design two monogram files for me - the pre-wedding monogram and post-wedding monogram. We'll use the post on things for after the ceremony (menus, favors, cake) and we used the pre-monogram for the invitations and such. They tied together well and we were able to follow etiquette rules.
@ES123: I really like that idea! How exciting it will be to see the "transformation" upon entering your reception space, symbolized by you and your husband's three initials united.
I like the transformation idea..how about one monogram (yours before marriage) in one corner, his monogram (in other corner) and your NEW monogram together in the middle? Could be very unique and cool!
I'm sure a graphic designer (or you) could create something new and unique!
I have heard that it is bad luck/improper etiquette to include a monogram with the groom's last initial before the wedding. We put a monogram on our menus for the reception, since by that time we would be married. Instead of doing a traditional monogram on your invites, why not do a "A+B" or A&B" sort of thing with both of your first initials and no last initial? I always like the look of that!
I notice a lot of wedding invitations have the two first initials on them rather than getting the last names involved.
I agree with doing a pre-wedding two first initials (for invitations, website, welcome bags/ letter, ceremony programs) and a separate post-wedding two initials and married last name initial (for reception menus, wedding cake, favors).
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I don't know why you would put your parent's monogram on the invitation. I think that it would confuse people. I do have to admit that I am very anti-advertising the person who is funding the event. It's your wedding and if your parents are offering to pay that is lovely, but I really don't think everyone needs to know that. My parents funded our wedding and our invitations only had mine and my husband's name on them as I thought that was all that was necessary.
I would agree with above posters - perhaps a first letter intial monogram for the invites and one with the last name for afterwards.
I had originally had our monogram on the invites but I found out it was bad luck so I changed it to just the initial of his last name. But you could also do both of your first name initials.
Oh crap! I hope I don't get bad luck. Our married monogram is on our invitation! But to your question, LL, I also think it would be confusing to use your parents' monogram.
Whatever decision you make, talk to your parents about it. They might not care at all, and they might be very insulted. I don't think your guests will mind or even notice, but it really isn't worth a parental battle. I'd go with the first two initials, or the transformation idea.
Thanks for all your help on this one, hive!
I think we decided to go with our first initials. This way we can avoid the bad luck/poor etiquette of using our married monogram before the wedding, but also not confuse our guests by using my parents last initial.
I just used our full first names. It's not an official monogram I guess, but it worked great! I even had a return address stamper made that had our first names on it with our address written below them.
Hi LatteLove! I see that you'v already made your decision-- just thought I'd add my two cents...
On the invitation, true "ettiquette" states that it should be the brides' monogram, not her & her husband's monogram, and not her married monogram.
We were in the exact same situation: my parents are technically hosting the wedding (and paying for it), so we opted for the exact same solution- which we both liked and kept us within the realm of what we are "supposed" to do. We put our first name initials at the top of the invite (example: T & R).
I'm sure your will turn out great!
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I was just on the verge of creating (or hiring someone to create) a monogram of my fiance's last initial with both of our first initials for our invitation...then I realized this may be poor etiquette.
My parents are paying for the majority of our wedding and they are the ones formally inviting our guests....does this mean their initial should be on there? (we're doing some sort of mongram/initial to seal our pocketfolds)
Is it too early to have our married monogram on an invitation not technically from the two of us? What are etiquette rules on this?