Question about picking my bridal party…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@PennyLove5:  i would hope she wouldnt just expect to automatically be in ur bridal party, but if she does and if she asks i would just tell her that you are keeping the bridal party small. i can see why wouldnt want her to be in it though she would probably want to make some sort of embarassing speech/toas. if she is mad, she will get over it, because afterall it is YOUR day! best of luck

Post # 5
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PennyLove5:  Hey Hiersk! Always keep in mind that this is YOUR wedding and you have to make YOU happy. You have absolutely no reason to include this girl in your wedding. You don’t owe her anything. If she’s still in her undergraduate college mindset, please don’t bring her around your bridal train. You need to be surrounded by BMs who are mature enought to handle their roles and help you get ready for married life…your college friend does not fit that criteria.

I would just mention the engagement to her and leave it at that. If she asks about your bridal train, tell her you’ve already picked them and informed them of their duties. Kindly explain to her that you and your FI have a certain number of folks you want in the wedding train.

The other thing to consider is having her as a hostess (greeter at the door of the church/reception), if you really want her included. But I would pair her up with someone if you decide that route.

Either way, don’t stress. I had a few friends who wanted to be on my train, but at the end of the day, they’re just happy for me and that’s how it should be. Warm wishes!

Post # 7
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was in the exact same situation and no don’t feel that you have to includ. Her. One of my roommates in college came out and asked me who was in my bridal party right after I became engaged and had stated many times in the past that she boulder wait to be bridesmaid. We were very close in college but after we graduated I realized she was an incredibly negative and immature person. Unfortunately she comes Kirk a package deal with other old roommates so I feel like I can’t fire off our dying friendship. 

When I went to make my final decisions regarding my bridal party it was awful that I felt like I had to include her. Then I had an aha moment where the only people I wanted around me were positive mature people that would help support our relationship and be a positive force on us for the rest of our lives.

I hope that helps! When my person asked I said we were keeping it small with mostly family and just posted it on my website bc I didn’to want to be mean

Post # 9
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PennyLove5:  You’re welcome! Everything will work out just fine!

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