Post # 1
I’m an encore bride and I think I finished my registry but there is not much on it. (6 things at Kohl’s and 9 at JCPenney.) I thought it would be in poor taste since this is a second marriage but my girlfriend said some people don’t feel comfortable giving cash and there are probably a few things we have that could use updating. Which is true, but what do you think? I don’t want people to just think I’m out for cash either, because we’re not.
I guess this is almost more of asking advice because we aren’t worried about gifts or anything. We’re just excited to get married (no matter what he actually says out loud) and we’re excited to have practically the wedding of our dreams.
Do you think it’s okay that I have a registry. It’s basically some sheets and towels and a few pots and pans and utensils. Literally stuff that we would buy ourselves if no one purchases it. I just want to make sure I don’t look…I don’t know the word I’m looking for but I think you know what I mean.
Am I stupid to worry about this?
Post # 3
I think it’s perfectly fine to have a registry and I wouldn’t stress about it at all 🙂
Post # 4
Definitely don’t stress! I’m an encore and have a few ‘big’ registries. Whether or not we get what’s on them doesn’t concern us. We listed all the things we needed, and a few wants and I’m not going to worry about people saying stuff about me being gift grabby. 🙂
Post # 5
i dont think u have anything to worry about and even if u hadnt done a registry, i would say the same!
Post # 6
I feel better already girls. Thank you so much. I’m not going to worry about it anymore.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t worry about it.
People will complain either way.
Post # 8
Don’t worry about it. I’m an encore bride too, and I have a registry too.
Post # 9
I think it’s fine. In your case, I would wait for people to ask if you’re registered anywhere before telling them. Just a slightly more strict version of the word of mouth rule.
Post # 10
Actually there are only three people who know I’m registered. My mom, my FSIL (who is the BEST bridesmaid ever!) and the girlfriend at work who I was talking to about it. (her daughter and I are the same age and getting married 3 weeks before me. We bounce all kinds of stuff off of each other.)
I always worry about this kind of stuff because I am an ettiquette teacher! But wedding ettiquette is a completely different world. I teach pre-teens about the basics. Dining, manner, electronic manners, etc… I thought I was pretty good at all kinds of etiquette stuff until I got engaged! haha.
Post # 11
I always give a gift for weddings. But I don’t like giving cash, so a registry is great! There is always something to update etc. Go for it. 🙂
Post # 12
@Ms.Shamrock: Yes, you’re stu… no, I can’t say it. But you are misguided to be worried about this. And yes, it’s fine. For that matter, I have a registry — have had for about forty-five years — and I’m not even a bride.
Note, that you didn’t call it a “gift” registry. Here’s a polite fiction (or, in my case, a reality that you are welcome to share) behind the gracious use of registries:
Think of every household item you would like for serving all the fancy teas and dinners and for hosting all houseguests you ever dreamed of in the nicest style you can aspire to. Write down the heirloom-quality items you will eventually need to practice that standard of hospitality. That’s your registry. Plan to acquire them otrye to help you keep track of your long-term plan.
Now, anyone who snoops into your registry, may give you a head-start on that long-term plan (but they are still snooping, and entitled to the same guilty pleasure that people get when peeking inside the medicine cabinet in the guest-bathroom when visiting). And if they don’t like what they see while snooping, well, honi soit qui mal i pense.
Post # 13
My friend’s Mom asked for ‘no gifts, but if you insist, we would love an addition to our wine cellar’. I thought that was cool.