(Closed) Question about setting the date?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We knew we wanted a wedding on a saturday night in the fall. So we started looking at venues and chose based on the dates they had available.

You will need to narrow it down more than just sometime in the next 9-18 months. Is there a season you prefer? Do you want a friday, saturday or sunday? night or daytime? These are thing you and your Fiance should discuss before contacting venues. 

Post # 4
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Being open on the date is a huge bonus when looking for the wedding venue. Usually people set a date before getting a venue for several reasons (1) sentimental significance of the date (2) conflicts with other family events (3) wanting to have the wedding in a certain month/season. If none of those apply to you, then you can be free to choose the venue you like best and book the date they have available.

Post # 5
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@whitefuzzy:  We didn’t choose a date until we looked at our venue’s schedule.  Some people are set on having their wedding on a specific date and choose their venue based on that.  Other people choose their date based on a venue’s schedule.  It’s totally up to you!

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I really didn’t care when mine was, figured sometime this summer. I also had my heart set on a particular venue, though; I went with what their policies were and what they had available.

There’s no pleasing everyone. We moved the date up once to accomodate a groomsman who may be off to med school in August, and just found out that because of that FI’s sister can’t make it due to her work schedule. Nothing to be done about it now, really. 

Picking a venue or a date makes sense, just don’t expect to pick both in your head and then have it work out right away 🙂 

Post # 7
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@whitefuzzy:  Well you have to call a place first and ask what dates are available or as if the date you want is available.  Then you will need to either find a church, park, whatever to also have that date available if you are doing a seperate ceremony.  Or you can ask if the venue for the reception can also do the ceremony there.  9 to 18 months is a large time frame, and you will find it difficult but not impossible to get other vendors booked in less than 9 months time.  You need to set a date though first, in order to start putting feelers out for other vendors and so you can know when to order your dress by, and other important details of the wedding timeline.  First and foremost though… find a place you love and see what they have.  I would suggest as close to the time frame of a year in order to leave you plenty of time to find vendors and not stress out.  Even a wedding dress can take 6 months to even come in… then you need alterations.  Keep this in mind if you want to be able to have the most freedom.  Congrats on your engagement!  Also theknot.com is a good place to start getting knowledge from.

Post # 8
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I would say get a general idea of the date that you want. Like what month, what day of the week you want. If you want an evening or afternoon wedding. 

We wanted July 3, 2014 but the place that we wanted was booked (over 2 years in advance!!!) that day, so we went one day later and are getting married on July 4th. 

Post # 9
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

We also picked the venue we were interested in and were wiling to be flexible.  So, when I contacted them about availability I sent them a long list of dates that we were possibly interested in, and asked them to send me all that were currently available.  Then we discussed it with our VIP guests, picked one, and put down a deposit, and then considered our date to be set.

Post # 10
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We wanted a Saturday in October and ended up with a Friday in July. It’s great that you’re open- will give you a lot more options. 

If you have a season you want to get married in, that helps narrow it down a bit. None of the venues we toured required us to be set on our date first. (One caterer required us to have the date/venue before getting a quote, however.) If you’re looking to get married in a church, you may want to check that availability. If not, go straight to venue shopping, and have fun!

Post # 11
1634 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve always wondered why that’s the first thing people ask, because I’ve wondered that too – how do you set a date when you haven’t even picked a venue?! I feel like the actual date is the LEAST of the problems until you figure out what kind of wedding and how many people you even want there.

I stick with the season/year combo. That seems to be working.

Post # 12
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

We looked at a calander to choose our date. 😛 We were more concerned about the city we were getting married at rather than the actual venue. Lucky for us, the venue had all the Saturdays in June open when we booked.

Post # 13
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You might want to narrow your window to some ideal times to tell venues, but for most people, choosing the date and the venue go hand-in-hand. You can always tell a venue that ideally you want (for example) October 2013, but you are flexible and open to other dates. It’s always helpful to have a starting point.

Post # 14
2971 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

it wasn’t really that hard for us.

we had my reception in my parents’ front yard, so we had to pick a time of year with good weather, so that left us with september (which is what i had always wanted) or june (which i really did not want). 

our church was the only thing we needed to worry about. we narrowed it down to 2 weekends in september and were lucky enough that we got our first choice 🙂

Post # 16
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@whitefuzzy:  i would start by picking a season.  what have you always imagined, rustic fall, winter wonderland, spring or summer garden party?  consider the budget and if you will need time to save for the wedding.  how much time will you need?   also, consider holidays/long weekends and if family and friends will be around for that.

i wasn’t set on a particular date.  i knew i wanted it after the snow and before it got too hot.  so it had to be between april and june.  of course easter/semana santa was in april so i didn’t want to conflict with that holiday.  i narrowed it down to end of april or in may but not the long weekend.  (we had both been married in june before, so that month was out too).

once you have a timeframe, check out venues and their availability.

good luck with the planning.

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