(Closed) Question about wedding gift-giving. Help!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: I can't attend a friend's wedding/shower. I sent a nice shower gift, do I send a wedding gift too?
    No. If you already got a shower gift that is plenty. : (8 votes)
    17 %
    Yes. You should send a gift for each event you're invited to. : (13 votes)
    28 %
    If you were very close- I would say yes. But if not- one shower gift is enough. : (26 votes)
    55 %
  • Post # 3
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think it’s appropriate to send a gift for every event you have been invited to, even if you cannot attend.

    It doesn’t have to be huge, but something.

    Post # 5
    12905 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Miss Orchard:  I agree with this.  Even if it’s something small and a card, it’s really nice to send a gift to every event you’re invited to.

    Post # 6
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would say only if you are close. If you already sent one gift, I think you are ok. I am not expecting gifts from people that cannot attend my shower or wedding even though they were invited.

    Post # 7
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Gifts are always appreciated but NEVER required.  If you can afford to give something, go ahead (do they have any smaller registry items)?  If not, a nice card will absolutely suffice.

    Post # 8
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Hmmmm…. I would say if you aren’t that close and have already given her a shower gift, that should be enough.  Mind you, if you are financially able to give a gift and want to be generous, go ahead, but don’t feel pressured into buying another gift.

    For our wedding, we didn’t receive any gifts from people that couldn’t attend, nor was I expecting a gift from people that couldn’t come.

    Post # 9
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Sending a wedding gift (in addition to the shower gift, which was very kind of you) would be gracious…but if you really don’t want to do it, you’re under no obligation. However, you should still send a card.

    Post # 10
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I would probably send a card, but no gift if I was not close to the individual.

    Post # 11
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Very traditional etiquette says you don’t have to give at ALL (even if you attended the wedding!…But then no one seems to know that etiquette and the current custom seems to be to at least give a gift–if you are attending.

    In your case, I truly don’t think that there’s a bride out there who expects a gift from those who are invited but not attending–and even if there is, she’s gauche and not worth worrying about 🙂

    If it were me and I wasn’t close to the couple, I’d just send a nice card and be done with it. 

    The topic ‘Question about wedding gift-giving. Help!’ is closed to new replies.

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