Post # 1
Hey Bees- A friend has invited me to her wedding and shower out of town and I can’t attend either. We’re not very close, and I honestly don’t think I’d even invite her to my wedding. I send a nice shower gift from her registry- do I send a wedding gift as well?
Post # 3
I think it’s appropriate to send a gift for every event you have been invited to, even if you cannot attend.
It doesn’t have to be huge, but something.
Post # 4
Thanks for the advice so far!
Post # 5
@Miss Orchard: I agree with this. Even if it’s something small and a card, it’s really nice to send a gift to every event you’re invited to.
Post # 6
I would say only if you are close. If you already sent one gift, I think you are ok. I am not expecting gifts from people that cannot attend my shower or wedding even though they were invited.
Post # 7
Gifts are always appreciated but NEVER required. If you can afford to give something, go ahead (do they have any smaller registry items)? If not, a nice card will absolutely suffice.
Post # 8
Hmmmm…. I would say if you aren’t that close and have already given her a shower gift, that should be enough. Mind you, if you are financially able to give a gift and want to be generous, go ahead, but don’t feel pressured into buying another gift.
For our wedding, we didn’t receive any gifts from people that couldn’t attend, nor was I expecting a gift from people that couldn’t come.
Post # 9
Sending a wedding gift (in addition to the shower gift, which was very kind of you) would be gracious…but if you really don’t want to do it, you’re under no obligation. However, you should still send a card.
Post # 10
I would probably send a card, but no gift if I was not close to the individual.
Post # 11
Very traditional etiquette says you don’t have to give at ALL (even if you attended the wedding!…But then no one seems to know that etiquette and the current custom seems to be to at least give a gift–if you are attending.
In your case, I truly don’t think that there’s a bride out there who expects a gift from those who are invited but not attending–and even if there is, she’s gauche and not worth worrying about 🙂
If it were me and I wasn’t close to the couple, I’d just send a nice card and be done with it.