Post # 1
So, I know that traditionally, a girl’s father walks her down the aisle. Well, I didn’t know my dad until I was 18, and although he’s a really nice guy, he just doesn’t feel like a FATHER to me. We aren’t that close, we talk maybe once a year, he contributed to my University bills when I was going through school and has been really nice. My original plan was to have my dad and mom (who aren’t together/were never married) walk me down the aisle but I’m not totally comfortable with that and it would be awkward.
My mom said “it would mean so much if your stepdad also walked you down the aisle with us” and I do not want this. Aside from the fact that it would look absolutely stupid for 3 people to walk a bride down the damn aisle all at the same time, I grew up with that guy and he made my childhood a living hell. He’s mellowed out a bit since, and it’s been my mom’s choice to stay with him, but he used to beat the living $hit out of my mom and us and that’s what I think about every time I see him. My mom is so sweet and meek and it’s hard to say no to her and it doesn’t seem to occur to her that asking this of me is inappropriate and borderline cruel. I owe this man nothing and doing this would only be a favor to my mother.
I think I just want my mom to walk me down the aisle. Is this fair? Is this appropriate, given the circumstances? My family is going to totally lose their minds over this because it isn’t traditional but they’ve picked apart every other aspect I’ve decided on for my wedding so I kiiind of don’t care anymore. 🙂 Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
Post # 3
Considering your lack of appropriate father figures, I would 100% say ask your mother and your mother only to walk you down the aisle. I am very sorry to hear of your situation and I hope that things work out beautifully for you.
Post # 4
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: Thanks for your reply 🙂 I am sure that everything will be fine in the end, I just wish that my family would try to make things easier for me, not more difficult 😐 I think I had the wrong idea of how this whole planning process was going to go!
Post # 5
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: this exactly!! I grew up with both my parents until I was about 14 then I father entered into a relationship with a woman who makes his life miserable if he does anything that involves hs past life. I’m 38 now. He allows it. We were super close & know I haven’t seen him in about 9 years. I’ll invite him but I’m having my mom walk me down too.
I think sometimes you have to look at why we do the traditional things not the details. : )
Post # 6
It’s absolutely fair. My mom is walking me down. It’s one of those things where there is no “appropriate” – do whatever is the best for you and what you want. If you want to walk down alone, great. If you did want both parents or maybe a cousin or even a good friend, great! I would suggest that you stand firm against your stepfather, though, with that kind of history. It’s not fair for anyone to expect you to make someone who you had such a terrible relationship with be that big a part of your special day.
Post # 7
I think having your mom walk with you is a great idea! I’m sure she would appreciate it too 🙂
Post # 8
For sure sounds appropriate and right. I don’t consider it “inappropriate” in any situation.
I wanted my mom to, but she said she felt awkward about it for some reason. So I let it go and we formulated a new plan. All I knew is that my Dad wasn’t going to do it. I used to say my brothers would walk me down the aisle but Fiance chose them to be two of his groomsmen so we came up with another idea.Fiance and I are walking down the aisle together, as an option in case your mother does not agree with you.
Post # 9
I am in the exact same boat. My stepdad my my life hell, even kicked me out when I was 14. Though now I get along with him better than ever. However I feel that the only person that has a right to walk me down the ailse, the one that has always been there was my mother.
Good luck, its a hard choice but when I asked mum she was so moved.
Post # 10
I have two very close friends whose fathers died long before their weddings. One asked her older brother to walk her down the aisle. The other asked her mother. Both weddings were beautiful, and the processions were very touching.