Post # 1
is it a “pause” or a “reset”? Thoughts?
Background info: Ted and Victoria broke up 8 years (not sure when) ago and restarted their relationship again. Victoria believes that the relationship was on “pause” so time starts and continue like nothing happened; Ted believes it was a “reset”.
Darling Husband and I had broken up before we got back together and lived happily ever after. (Long story!) Darling Husband believes it was a “pause”; and, I believed it was a “reset”. It was an easier pill for me to swallow to think that the relationship is “new” for me. Plus, I wanted to start “new”.
*HIMYM = How I Met Your Mother
Post # 3
Hmm, I think it depends on time spent apart, and how much you grew/changed in that time?! For me and SO, it was a ‘pause’, because we were not apart for long – approx. 2 months, and life for us was merely the same. We just had to grow up a tad, and work on our relationship! Anyways, we look at that 2 months now as a ‘break’ rather than a ‘break up’, and so starting back up again was not ‘new’ but rather as the world should be 🙂
Post # 4
i think it totally depends on the situation. i think it depends on a couple of things: the time you spent apart, how much you grew and/or changed in that time, and if either of you dated other people while on your “break.”
Post # 5
If you spend years seeing other people, then I’d see it as a reset.
Post # 6
Well, on HIMYM they broke up, fall in love with others (Ted has multiple others he loves), get engaged to other people, and THEN get back together. I think they are a reset.
Break up a few months and don’t date others? Probably a break.
So I guess it depends lol.
Post # 7
In the instance of HIMYM…it was for sure a reset. 8 years! That’s a long ass time! People change drastically over 8 years and soooo much had happened to both of them.
Post # 8
I agree with other posters–in this case, it was more of a reset than a break! but on the other side of the spectrum, when my husband and I first started dating, we were falling for each other really quickly and about a month into dating, he freaked out because it was moving so fast (ie, we were seeing each other almost every day). he tried to break up with me, but it was more of a break than a break up, and lasted less than a week. so that was def a break, not a reset
Post # 9
Depends on the relationship! I knew a girl who dated a guy for 8 months broke up and got back together 5 years later. I wasnt in the relationship but she kept saying “this is old love” like it was just paused. Even though in between she had a baby with someone else and had lived with and been in 2 very serious relationships. He had been married.
Post # 10
I’ve never been in the situation personally, but I think if it’s a break of less than a month, then it could be considered a “pause” but if it’s more than a month or two, especially at younger time in life when people are changing drastically, or if the relationship is still young, then it might qualify as a “reset”.
I was thinking it was all “reset” at first, but when I thought about it more, I guess it gets a bit murky in there.
Post # 12
It depends on how much time passes. If you were engaged and calle dit all off, then years later get back together you wouldn’t start at the engagement. Likewise if you were together for a year and break up for a month it doesn’t reset your history. You don’t suddenly have to relearn everything about eachother.
I think the longer the separation the more it resets. After so long apart, you have to get to know eachother again, obviously in the time apart you would have both grown and changed in many ways.
Post # 13
Depends on the relationship.
I thought the question would have been was Victoria fair to ask Ted not to be friends with Robin?
Post # 14
I’d say “pause” for us. We never really stopped being close friends…and we never stopped having feelings for eachother…but I’d say in the beginning of getting back together it felt more like a “reset.”
Post # 15
It was a little of both for us. We fell in love all over again, but it was obviously a bit of a break because we got back together in March and were engaged by Labor Day.
Post # 16
I would take it as a reset, even if only a year went by. You don’t want to repeat the mistakes that you made when you broke up in the first place so why pick it up from where it was left?