QUESTION: do you think it's okay to have work friends that are male?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll:
    Yes : (234 votes)
    88 %
    No : (18 votes)
    7 %
    Maybe : (14 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @ashley050406:  Of course. 

    If either party to a relationship is so poor at self-control that they can’t even socialize in a professional setting with the opposite sex, that’s an untenable situation.

    Post # 4
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think having friends at work that are male is fine.  But I would not go out on a 1 on 1 dinner with a male co-worker unless it was business related.  In a group though, it’s fine.  If there is nothing “more” going on, it shouldn’t really be a concern.

    Post # 5
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Certainly.  I work with a lot of men, and the ratio of male to female workers has become increasingly skewed as I gain seniority, since many women drop out of the work force along the way in my industry.  My closest work friends are female, but I have quite a few guys at work that are valuable to me, as well.

    Post # 6
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Why wouldn’t it be? Friends are friends. 

    Post # 7
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @Schatzie821:  +1 

    I wouldn’t be going out for drinks with them one-on-one either.  But I’ll be friendly and professional.

    Post # 8
    6450 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Absolutely. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have any work friends because everyone on my team is a male.

    Post # 9
    5781 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I can manage to have male friends, from work or otherwise, without it turning into a big sexy party. My Fi has female friends and they manage to go to dinner or go to a bar and not have sexy fun time. Man plus woman in same place alone does not automatically equal sex.

    Post # 10
    496 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I don’t see an issue with it, I had dinner with one of my male friends the other night, but refused to do so until I discussed it with my FI, I pretty much knew he wouldn’t have an issue with it but wanted to make sure he was okay with it before doing it, we had more of a discussion about it last night, and he admitted it was a little odd and that he tends to have a jealously streak (which I’ve never witnessed or knew about before)  but  he trusts both myself and our friend (hes actually one of our groomsman).  But yeah I would never just go hang out with myself and another male without asking/discussing it first with him.


    Post # 11
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Why is this even a question? Yes. It is okay to have friends of the opposite gender. The line is crossed when you are no longer just friends.

    Post # 13
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    If your SO doesn’t even allow you to have male friends, I’d suggest rethinking the relationship. Just saying… If you have self control, and you love your SO, there really shouldn’t be any problem at all. Your SO should trust you enough to not be jealous of a friendship with a coworker. If you are flirting with said coworker, however, that I consider to be cheating. When you start flirting, you’ve crossed the line IMO.

    Post # 14
    5248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I woprk with mostly all men but I dont speak with them outside of the workplace unless it is work related

    Post # 15
    4043 posts
    Honey bee

    @lenabee:  I think this is an ongoing issue. 

    Last night, this bee posted the same thread twice (using two different accounts) about feeling guilty that she was having lunch with co-workers…and one was male. She took down the threads though. 

    To answer your question again OP, no I don’t think there is a problem with having male friend in general, at work or in real life. As long as the relationship is respectful and appropriate, I see nothing wrong with it.

    Post # 16
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @ashley050406:  I’m a bartender and I have to be able to socialize with men at work if I expect to make any tips. I get hit on a lot (and I mean A LOT) and I flirt back. Not gonna lie, if I wear a low cut shirt I’ll make about 30% more in tips that day. I socialize at work with male co-workers as well. FI knows all that and he’s fine with it because I never cross the line. To me crossing the line would be giving out my phone number or hiding the fact that I’m engaged, so I don’t do either of those things. I have given out my # before, thinking it’s fine, we’re just friends, but every single time the guy got some other idea. I literally had to change my # and refuse to give it out to anyone anymore.

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