Question for Bees who are 'well off'

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Who cares?  Really – why do you care what people think?

Post # 4
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ignore them.  It’s no one’s business. 

So what if they think your parents helped?  You know the truth, your parents know the truth.  Be proud of how you got to where you are!

Post # 5
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsGatito:  Well, in a way they are correct. If you hadn’t both received contributions from your parents in the way of free rent and groceries, you likely wouldn’t have been able to afford your wedding/your house, or both.

Stop letting what other people say, bother you. It takes too much negative energy to react this way.

Post # 7
Member
8426 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsGatito:  people are always going to judge/assume things.  I don’t work, we own our own house in a nice community, paid for our own wedding, etc, so people assume lots of things about our finances (ranging from parental help to deeply in debt).  I think the best thing you can do is just not give them any information about your finances and ignore them.

Post # 8
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MrsGatito Don’t worry about what was said, be proud of what you have been able to afford for yuorselves with no one elses help.  That’s really impressive and they are probably just jealous.

Post # 9
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsGatito:  We get stuff like that a lot but I think it is mainly do to the fact that we are so young and able to afford so much! We are just financially able to take care of ourselves 🙂 

Ignore them! 

Post # 10
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MrsGatito:  There really isn’t anything you can do except express gratitude for how lucky you’ve been to have lived with you parents for that time and to have good jobs. If this friend who comes to see your house remarks on how you were able to buy the house just be honest and say, “We were so lucky to be able to live with our parents before having our wedding and purchasing our home. We were able to save enough to pay for those things ourselves.”

As for people talking amongst themselves, there’s really nothing you can do to control how they think. They are just going off their own experiences.

Post # 11
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsGatito:  I think your DH responded perfectly. You may not like to think of it this way, but if you lived at home rent-free and bill-free because of your parents’ hospitality, you did accept their financial help to get you into the house and car you currently own. Sure, they didn’t give you a lump sum and I wouldn’t exactly call it a “hand out” but it was that generosity that got you where you are today. It’s not something to be ashamed of, because it did require your practical attitude to save during that time, and I think they do need some acknowledgment when people comment on your good fortune!

Post # 12
Member
4223 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@julies1949:  +1000

 

Also, IMO there’s no shame in getting help from your parents if they offer. It’s an issue if you sit on your butt and let mommy and daddy do everything for you while you do nothing, but if your parents did help you buy a house or pay for your wedding, whatever. That’s their perogative and no one elses beeswax. 

Post # 13
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@MrsGatito:  You have to ignore it. Any attempt at trying to prove that you paid for the wedding will only have you coming off looking poorly. If you say you paid for your wedding no one should question it.

We paid for our wedding 100% without any assistance and we had a large budget and very nice wedding. Haven’t encountered anyone daring to question that considering most people know (ballpark) what we make based on our lifestyle etc. If they did question it I would probably laugh.

Post # 14
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ignore it. There really is nothing else you can do.

Post # 15
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MrsGatito:  

I think everyone is always going to assume things anyways. So let them. 

Another thing to keep in mind is how different people percieve what they are proud about.

For me, I take pride in the fact I moved out at 19, got my own appartment, worked 2 jobs and maintained scholarships for University. I take pride in that. I may not have as much as some of my friends who stayed at home longer, but I’m proud I did it on my own and worked hard.  Without a doubt,  I truly am stronger for it.  For me, it was an experience, and that experience is something I am proud of.

For some people, a nice house, cars and things are just “things”.  For others they are proud of it. If you are proud of what you have, who cares if they are jealous or saying things?

Everyone is going to have opinions, just live your life how you want to and be happy 🙂

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@MrsGatito:  It’s none of their business how you afford anything, be it a house, a wedding, a car… it’s just plain none of their business. You owe them no explanation. I wouldn’t worry about it. I would have responded with “wow, why were they even discussing what we can or cannot afford? that’s pretty rude don’t you think?”

Haters gonna hate.

People will always find a way to make themselves feel better if they can’t do something and someone else can. Maybe for THEM it would be impossible, but you guys were smart and it worked out for you. Even if youe explained they probably would still believe what they want so it’s really a losing battle. Be happy and move on 🙂

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