Post # 1
What do you say when someone says “What do you do?”
I’m not working, and I’m not looking for work. FI and I are fortunate enough that I don’t need to at the moment. We’re both fine with it, our friends are fine with it, our parents are fine with it. However, inevitably people who don’t know me will ask “What do you do?” and I’ve yet to come up with a good answer. I usually just say “Oh, I don’t work” which I hate saying because 9 times out of 10 people say something snarky like “Must be nice,” and that makes me want to knock them the hell out.
So bees, what do you say?
Post # 3
How about something about what you do that fills your day? “I’m a hobbyist, I knit, I read fiction” etc? I’d play it like they were asking more about what you do to see what you’re interested in versus employment.
Post # 4
@CarolinaCola: That I’m a glorified potted plant. I have yet to meet someone who isn’t too stunned to make a snarky comeback, and one person just about collapsed in laughter. LOL
Caveat – I do work, from home. Few people see it as work, even though I put in more hours, seven days a week, than many people who work outside the home! 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
TBH I don’t have patience for that kind of snark anymore so I would probably just reply with, “You’re right! It is nice!”
I was out of work for about five months and wasn’t really looking that hard since DH and I were doing fine on his salary. When people asked I would just say “I’m unemployed” or “I’m looking for work” (even though I wasn’t at the very beginning). It was easier to just leave the details out especially if it’s someone we don’t really know (and therefore don’t care to share the details of our finances/personal life with).
Anyways, sorry you are dealing with that OP. I know it’s easier said than done, but as long as it’s working for you and your SO then try to let those nasty comments roll off your back!
Post # 6
@CarolinaCola: I work, but I’d probably go with homemaker (my dream job LOL). I’m sure some other bees have creative job titles for you!
Post # 7
@stephee: That’s a good idea. One time my MOH saved me with an answer like that. Someone she introduced me to asked what I did and she jumped in and said “She cooks these great meals and sometimes I get to come over and eat them!” I was super thankful to her for that.
Post # 8
Tell the truth and own it! They’re just jealous that they are not in such a fortunate position.
If they say “it must be nice” agree with them. Respond that you are very grateful for your life and that you appreciate every moment that you dont spend droning away at a desk wishing you were somewhere else!
Too many people derive their self worth only from paid employment. If you feel valued, if you enjoy your life, then you shouldnt have to feel like you need to ‘make something up to say’.
Caveat – I work in a job I hate with a bully of a boss. Its nothing to aspire to trust me 🙂
Post # 9
@Tellemonster: Your response made me smile! I actually got a fortune from a fortune cookie once that says “You lead a useful life no matter what riches are coming to you” and I saved it and put it up on my mirror so I see it every day.
Post # 10
I say I’m a husband wrangler.
Post # 11
@Hyperventilate: HAH! I like that one.
Post # 12
@CarolinaCola: just be honest and say you’re a homemaker. Why do you think it is snarky or offensive when someone says “that must be nice” I’d assume they were either A) being sincere or B) just saying something to being polite. For example a lot of times when people tell me what they do for work I’ll say “that sounds interesting” just as a polite response
Post # 13
@WestCoastV: It has more to do with tone. I agree that just the phrase in itself is not snarky, but the way some people say it irks me.
Post # 14
I am an online (full-time) student and community volunteer. To the “must be nice” comments: “It is nice, thank you.” They don’t know everything about you or your life. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. We made our decision based on a lot of factors that are not anyone else’s business, and you did too.
Post # 15
@CarolinaCola: I just say I’m a housewife…and most of the time when they say “must be nice” your response should be “yep, it is”…after all, most are probably just jealous that they have to work. I’ve found that it’s really hard for other people to be happy for you if you have what they want. It’s unfortunate but true
Post # 16
I’m actually a full-time student in an accelerated (which equals a butt load of work) program. But I use to ( and sometimes still do) tell people that I’m a kept woman and wink at them. I guess I do it to get a rise out of them. At least this way you do not have to worry about their snarky comment since you beat them to the punch.