Question For Moms.

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
1305 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The poor children. In my opinion no child should ever experience violence.

I think what you’re doing is absolutley right and exactly what I would do and do with my daughter. It’s great that you explain why this behaviour will not work and then ignore it.

Post # 4
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you do the EXACT right thing!

I work in childcare, so obviously hitting the kids isn’t an option.

But when a child throws a massive fit (and not because they’re tired or hungary, but because they’re being rotten), I will seperate them from the other kids and ignore them “until you feel better”.

Post # 5
6665 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you are doing the exact right thing.  While I have lightly swatted my own children’s behinds on very rare occasions, I would NEVER spank my nieces and nephews and I would not have my own children spanked by anyone other than me and DH. I think it is a very personal thing and should be saved for very serious situations- not just when a child cried for not getting their way.

Post # 6
5390 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@TakeTwo:  I work with teenagers, so, very different, and have little experience with smaller children, but what you’re doing sounds spot-on to me.

I do not believe personally that smacking is necessary; you should be able to discipline a child effectively without resorting to physical violence. While I don’t think the occasional smack will harm a child long-term, I do find it pointless; a good parent should be able to instill discipline without the threat of violence.

So, in your case I would likely do the same; though I’m perhaps a bit harsher as I would likely also say she is being silly, and then say that she will not get anything by crying. I would also possibly threaten to withdraw a treat if she didn’t stop crying (eg ‘If you carry on crying not only will you not get ice-cream, but we won’t go to the cinema’), and then follow through if she continued, as I think that some form of punishment for such behaviour tends to be quite effective. Again, I work with older children but if they misbehave, they are threatened with consquences, and if they continue, I follow through. Works like a charm.

Post # 7
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I was smacked as a child, I had to hold out my hand and wait for my parent to slap the hand. It stung but it didn’t really hurt, it was more about the self-control of holding my hand out and the embarrassment of having been SO naughty that this is what it came to. 

BUT this only happened about 3 times in my life. Normally I was ignored until I could calm down, then I was spoken to about the issue. 

I do hope that when you say they “hit” your niece, that you just mean “smack”. The word hitting normally implies a lot of force is used and not on the bottom or hand (safe places in my opinion). Smack normally implies enough force to scare a child but not enough to actually really hurt them and normally applied on the bottom or hand. From that, I normally say that hitting is bad but smacking is ok. BUT some people use those words to mean the same thing.

I hope that made sense. :/

Post # 8
1327 posts
Bumble bee

I absolutely think you’re doing the right thing!  I don’t think it’s right for anyone but a child’s parent to use corporal punishment, and even then…I don’t always agree with it.  I was spanked as a child but my aunts never spanked me.  I know someone whose parents allowed all of his relatives to spank him whenever they saw fit and he grew up to be very resentful and full of anger about that.

I think that ignoring the crying and letting her know why that won’t get her what she wants is the best course of action and what I’d do in your positions, too. 🙂

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