Post # 1
Myself and SO have been together since we were young and have known we wanted to marry but also wanted to grow up a bit and not rush and have certain things worked out before getting to this place. As a trade of for that we’ve communicated a lot about timing and the future and so I essentially know a proposal is coming.
He expressed lately that hes a bit disappointed he can’t completely take me by surprise and I have felt that way too. But I explained to him the foundation we decided to build and the decision to take out time is the trade off for that and we can’t have it all, that it will still be wonderful and romantic and a surprise cos I don’t know when he’s doing it exactly
And I do believe that and all I care about is marrying him at the end of the day. But because we’ve excitedly been talking a lot about it while he’s been saving for a ring (we’re pretty dorky and talk about everything and sometimes it ruins surprises lol) I’m afraid now it won’t feel as magical for me as some other people who describe being completely caught off guard. There also seems to be this pressute to have an “amazing proposal story”
Can any bees who knew an engagement was in their future please reassure me that it was still Wonderful and romantic even though not a complete surprise??
Post # 2
Brownbear23: I “knew it was coming” in the sense that I knew he had a ring. At the same time, the actual proposal was a complete surprise and he really did catch me off guard with the timing. Just because you know it’s coming in the abstract does not mean that the actual proposal can’t be a surprise!
And even if it isn’t, it will still be perfect and wonderful. But seriously, if he wants to surprise you, he can. He just has to put a little thought into when and where.
Post # 3
I feel like the vast majority of women knew it was coming in one way or another. What you do is put a moratorium on talking about it until it actually happens, and stop comparing real life to internet stories- because they are vastly different. and then you be grateful for what you have- and stop focusing on the inane tiny honestly silly detail you have not.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA
I totally knew it was coming. I honestly wish i wasnt so intuitive sometimes bc i would have liked it to be a surprise. plus FI was really adamant ab surprising me- so to this day (10 months engaged so far) he has no idea i had him figured out lol BUT although i knew what was going down, not caught off guard, not surprised- it was still SO intense, and such a build up after being together almost 9 years- i was ecstatic! I was shaking, and teared up a little- no waterfall tears like i think he was expecting, whoops! lol But it was a very special moment i will hold dear to my heart forever, even if i wasnt surprised 🙂
Post # 5
Also I forgot to reply with my own story- it was at home, early am before he went to work and yes I knew it was coming in general though I certainly didn’t expect it in that exact moment. And I didn’t need rainbows and roses and flashmobs and kittens- i needed a ring and the love of my life to ask me to marry him. Everything else is just fluff. Lovely fluff- but fluff. The surprise and the grandiose proposal IS NOT what makes it significant. What’s actually happening makes it significant so really- don’t focus on the FB worthy details because a) they don’t matter and b) you’ll wind up one of those bees on here whining about their disappointing proposal well into the marriage!
Post # 6
Brownbear23: I knew it was coming soon after we looked at rings because I told him I wouldn’t move without being engaged. Well, technically made the decision to move to where he lived before we got engaged. We looked at rings and a month or two later, he proposed on the last day I lived in my house. It came as a complete surprise because it was on a Friday of no significance. I had messy hair and no makeup, and it was perfect. I wouldn’t have had that day or moment any other way.
Post # 7
MrsBuesleBee: you talk so much sense and I do NOT want to end up like a disappointed bee because all I care about is the significance I just need to remind myself not to let the other details and “Fairytale for facebook” stories sneak in and stamp on that
Post # 8
Brownbear23: I knew it was coming – we’d lived together for 4 years, had talked about marriage extensively, and he asked to go look at rings and then spent a long time making me try on different styles and asking the jeweler questions. I was still super super surprised when he got down on one knee during a sunset beach walk – I didn’t know he already had my ring, and had been carrying it around for a month waiting for the perfect moment! It was absolutely amazing. Frankly, I don’t think I would have been ok if he had proposed without having discussed it first – I believe becoming engaged is a decision two people should make together, long before rings and proposals come into the picture.
Post # 9
nightborn: I completely agree and not to knock anyone else’s choices at all but for the way we are and our relationship not discussing it would have felt ludicrous to me.
I just feel we may have gotten too excited and talked a bit too much lol. Time to shut it !
Post # 10
Brownbear23: I knew it was coming and DH still managed to surprise me!! I couldn’t believe it because I was ‘expecting it’ all the time – he perfectly caught me off guard. But like pp’s have said, whatever happens, you will be engaged and it will be awesome! 🙂
Post # 11
I knew it was coming. We picked out the ring together. But I also knew when he was going to propose because he decided to not go to work (I work a regular 9-5 job and he was working until 9pm every night)
I still thought it was romantic and wonderful. And I still got choked up when he asked.
Post # 12
Oh I knew it was coming and was still like shaking for days after it happened. i knew my ring had been purchased so litterally was on pins and needles for Weeks! He totally surprised me by proposing on a weeknight when I got home from work when i least expected it. (I opened the door to candles, roses, champagne etc.) i actually had all my winter gear on because we were having a snow storm and I looked like an Eskimo was dealing through the door haha! But it was so so perfect and really was so surprised! I think people put way way too much pressure on the proposal, I mean its a special moment that regefects your love for each other and your personalities. It’s not a competition to have a viral YouTube video or smth the entire world will hear about so needs to be over the top. I honestly would have died if he had done it in public, it’s a special moment not something to be shared by strangers IMO.
Post # 13
I knew it was coming – we picked out the ring together, and I knew when it came in. I even knew the day it was going to happen! My heart still jumped when he got down on one knee. I can’t remember a single word he said, because it was this blur of happy, but I know it ended with my saying yes. I’m pretty sure that all he remembers is “don’t screw up and don’t drop the ring” and my saying yes. And I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
Post # 14
I knew it was coming, we had talked marriage, and it was our anniversary. It didn’t ruin it for me, it was the most thoughtful special moment ever, even knowing it was coming! He surprised me with the lovely things he said rather than the actual event.
Post # 15
Brownbear23: I knew it was coming when I realized that he was taking me to all of the same places we went on our first date. We had actually gone to pick up the ring, but I assumed he would be waiting a few weeks/months as he told me he probably would. We went to the same restaurant we did on our first date. Towards the end, I actually had to go to the bathroom to make myself calm down and breathe because I was nervous. He proposed at the park we went to where we sat and talked for a few hours on our first date and it was perfect. Knowing it was about to happen actually amped up my emotions. It was still so surreal and emotional. Trust me, when the time comes and it’s the person you love asking you, nothing else matters.