Post # 1
Anyone else find that waiting for 3 months to tell people is more stressful than exciting???
At first it was ok, but by the end of the second month I’m getting a little tired of making excuses to people when we turn down invitations, missing out on things and just the general waiting to tell. My DH and I are both getting cranky about it, but we really want to wait until the 12 week mark.
I’m a social drinker – as are our family and friends – so the minute I wasn’t drinking people would know. I didn’t want to try and do any fooling type fake drinking, ugh too much coordination and production and risk of being found out anyway. So we decided the best thing to do was to avoid avoid avoid and lay low.
We won’t feel comfortable celebrating with our families until we know we’ve passed that 12 week mark.
It wil be such a relief when we finally tell people in a few weeks but for now I’m just going to say that waiting to tell people sucks!
Post # 3
It will go fast. Just try to enjoy this secret bonding time with your SO 🙂
Post # 4
I imagine it would be really hard to wait. But then one of my friends didn’t wait and told people last week, and everyone is all “whoa, why didn’t she wait to tell!?” so it’s kind of a sticky situation.
Post # 5
@Sunshine09: It will fly by! Trust me. If you’re anything like me, 12 weeks will seem like already??? I actually kept it a secret for much much longer (5 mo) for the world of social media. I feel the first trimester really drags out of all of them. It did for me anyway!
One thing to remember is you can never please everyone. If you do it now, like @distracts: said, there will be those who say ‘woah- why didn’t they wait?’ and if you do it later there will be those who wonder why you hid it for so long. Same with the gender reveal. Same with the name. Same with- oh god- everything I feel once you become a parent to a newborn. :/ I’m learning this as I go! I really enjoyed the time no one knew I was pregnant because then I had no comments about wanting to see belly photos from friends I was not close to, comments about what to do/what not to do, my mother driving me NUTS with sending links via email to me about whatever new thing pregnant women aren’t allowed to do, etc. I really enjoyed the time before we went public. I wish I could have kept it for longer but I was showing too much. 😛
Post # 6
The waiting sucks!! It was definitely catch up movie time for me. I did feel like I was abandoning my friends a little bit, but I was so happy we waited…made the rest of the pregnancy go by faster!
Post # 7
It was stressful for sure! We gave up and told after our ten week appointment when the doctor said it was safe. Many people told us, “Why did you wait so long?” I thought that was weird. We had intended to wait until 13 weeks.
Post # 8
@Sunshine09: I know the feeling! I found out when I was 6 weeks along. I honestly kept forgetting I was pregnant except when the morning sickness hit, but then I wasn’t too thrilled about being pregnant during that time (I don’t drink/smoke so not an issue), so it’s gone pretty fast.
Post # 9
It’s definitely hard! I found out when I was only 3 weeks and 5 days so the time dragged on.
We ended up telling our parents and sisters around 8 weeks because it was on Christmas Eve and we couldn’t pass up the chance to tell them on the holidays. I told my work after 10 weeks when I heard the heartbeat via doppler. Everyone else we waited until 12 weeks.
First trimester went by so slow for me, but once you hit 12 weeks it starts to fly by! I’m going to be 18 weeks on Wednesday and I can’t believe it.
Post # 10
It was stressful for sure!I imagine it would be really hard to wait.
Post # 11
I told our mothers and siblings before 12 weeks, and everyone else at 11 weeks (coincided with Thanksgiving). It suuucked waiting, but at least we were able to tell SOME people early, haha. I found out before I was even 4 weeks, so it was really annoying to keep that secret in, I just wanted to blurt it out to everyone I saw. Hang in there! In hindsight, the time has just flown by.
Post # 12
I’m 26 weeks now, but we told my parents and ILs the day we found out….which was like 3w3d or something crazy early like that.
I told early at work (I was having to leave early for Dr appts, not to mention I wasn’t feeling all that hot, so I felt like I owed the people that I work directly with an explanation; I didn’t want them to think I was just slacking off.)
I didn’t make it public on FB until I was about 13 weeks.
And as for people finding out because you aren’t drinking, I would be surprised if someone were paying that close of attention….not saying that it couldn’t happen, but I wouldn’t let it keep me from going out and enjoying. I’ve had some issues crop up over the last few weeks that need me off my feet and I wish that I had done more earlier on. (Traveling, etc.)
Post # 13
OH MY GOODNESS, THE WAITING IS KILLING ME!!! DH and I decided to wait until 12 weeks to tell people, including our parents. Two of my best friends know, one because I wanted someone to go to with pregnancy questions. She lives far enough away that I know she won’t tell a soul. The other because she’s my running buddy and I knew she would suspect it right away. She’s also going to play along and help me keep it a secret. Anyway, it’s been a little tricky so far. DH and I went out with a few friends this weekend and we just said I was the DD. Well, the next day one of the girls sent me a text asking if I’m pregnant. Yeah. I knew my drinking pop would look suspect, grr. I didn’t really want to lie (and I’m not very good at it), but I don’t want her to know yet. Someone asked DH too, in front of a ton of people. Fortunately he kept his cool – I would have turned bright red had I been standing there!
Post # 14
I made nice with a bartender and swore him to secrecy… we couldn’t NOT go out with friends (DH plays rugby and they have games every weekend so I couldn’t just skip everything)… So, I drank craberry with soda water or fruit juice in a wine glass. Nobody suspected anything. After we told people, a few of my girlfriends were shocked- like “Hey! Weren’t you drinking the other night?!?!?” hahaha, fooled them all 🙂
Post # 15
There’s no way I’d be able to dance around it – we go over to have dinner with DH’s family quite a bit and you’re offered a glass of wine the minute you walk in the door. The minute I would refuse eyes would go up.
Same with our friends. Impossible to get around it.
I tried it last year when I was pregnant but ended up mc’ing – we went out for Halloween to a house party and then a bar, and I said I had a migraine, that’s why I looked like hell and wasn’t drinking. Well then they asked me if there was “another reason” I wasn’t drinking, and I said no just a migraine, so they offered me medication, which I had to refuse of course, saying I just had some. Then I drank soda water all night while our friends partied it up around me. It sucked, they totally knew something was up, I had a rotten time and couldn’t even get any sympathy for how awkward I was feeling. Never again. That’s why as much as it sucks, we’re just laying low this time.
@tnbellebee: yes, people do pay that close attention. I’ve personally ‘outed’ a couple of friends by accident over the same thing.
Post # 16
@DaneLady: Haha nice one! That’s definitely going to be one of my tactics too! I would have tried that trick the other night, but a couple of my friends were sitting at the bar and they definitely would have heard me.