Post # 1
Before I even ask my question I am going to say that this is seriously not meant to offend anyone, just really curious.
I was reading this old thread that asked those that are CBC (and by this she meant those who have made a choice to actively NEVER have children, they are sure they NEVER want any) would they get an abortion if they somehow came up pregnant. Most that really were CBC according to her definition said they would. This is understandable that a person that is dead set against having children would not want to go through a pregnancy. So my question is if you are so sure that you never want children to the point if you came up pregnant no matter what the circumstances you would immediately abort, why not just get your tubes tied or have SO get a vasectomy so that is not even a possibility (or a vary slim chance anyway)?
If I were 100% sure that I never want to have kids I would be going to get my tubes tied as soon as I could afford it. I however am not a CBCer and have not looked into what it takes to have your tubes tied if you have never had children so there could very well be something I’m missing, but this just seems like the simplest solution to me.
Post # 3
Lots of dr’s won’t touch you until you’re at least 25.. some even 35.
Post # 4
@jenilynevette: Okay I thought there may be some restrictions. What would stop CBCers from doing so if they meet the requirements and have the money though? One argument could be invasive surgery, but couldn’t an abortion be considered invasive? What if SO was ok with getting a vasectomy?
Post # 5
@nellybee: I honestly don’t have any answers for you.
We are having children.
I can say that my mother married a younger man, and neither of them want anymore children Her husband was going to get a vasectomy, but they will not do anything with it until he is 35 – He’s 30 at the moment.
And I have no idea why she won’t get her tubes severed, tied, burnt and stepped on.
I think a vasectomy is less painful, faster, and cheaper though.
Post # 6
FI and I are CBC but FI and like @jenilynevette said, most doctors won’t perform an operation like tube tying on a woman as young as me (25) which I think is a load of BS. FI hasn’t gotten a traditional vasectomy yet because frankly the procedure freaks the crap out of him and also he’s hoping to eventually get RISUG which is an injectable form of male sterilization that is only available oversees right now. They are starting clinical trials of it here in America but it will probably be a while before it could become available to everyone. Realistically though, I think he will just have to buck up and get a traditional vasectomy sometime before the wedding.
Post # 7
My older sister is CBC, and she told me that she’s been to over 10 doctors to try to get her tubes tied, and they all basically said the same thing “we don’t do it on anyone so young because you may change your mind”. She was over 25 when she started trying to find someone to do it, and it doesn’t matter to any of them that her and her husband (who is the same age as her) do not want kids, they all answer “well you may change your mind, and we don’t want to take that option away from you”. She’s 32 now and still hasn’t found anyone to do it!
Post # 8
Firstly- it is no one else’s business what an individual does with their body. Why not start a thread asking all the people who do want children and are currently taking birth control why they are doing so. I mean if they really want kids why ever prevent it? It is no ones business, that is why.
Secondly- why do people feel like they have the right to question why CBC’ers do something. Why is it generally consider rude to judge pregnant women or parents choices but it is considered ok to question the way CBC’ers live?
Thirdly- why just because you do not want kids would you have an invasive surgery when there are many non invasive procedures out there.
Regardless of whather you want to offend someone or not I find your question offensive. Would you ever ask a woman who cannot (as opposed to chooses not to) have children why she doesn’t have a hysterectomy?
Post # 9
I am going to have children one day but this question is bound to be offensive to many bees who are CBC
Post # 10
@j_jaye: Amen to this.
Holy crap. I am literally too mad to write anything else.
Post # 11
Expense, unavailability to people my age, pain, time off work, risks. Hormonal birth control is pretty effective. I have no issues getting an abortion if I have to, but HBC has been great so far and nobody has to anesthetize or cut into me or my FH for it to work.
(Someday one of us may seek a surgical option, but right now, its not really an option for us.)
Post # 12
I never wanted children, and now am post menopausal and don” t have to worry.
I used an extremely reliable form of BC, but if it had Failed, I would have terminated.
As for a permanent solution, most insurance companies won’t consider paying until you are over 35 and if you are single, most doctors won ‘t even consider it.
Post # 13
@nellybee: I tried to get Essure ( non surgical sterilization) but I was not anatomically compatible with the procedure. Apparently I have weird fallopian tubes.
Fwiw, all you have to do is lie and say you already have kids (obviously, this is easier for a man to lie about but it worked in my case as well)
Post # 14
My DH had a vasectomy, and even so, I still use birth control just in case. The thought of having children terrifies me.
Post # 15
I’m not CBC, but when me and my FI get pregnant and have our first (and only) baby together I’m getting my tubes tied…burned…. Whatever lol!
i don’t find your question offensive at all. Perhaps because I have a child (and have had both a miscarriage and an abortion) the question affects me differently?
The abortion was really difficult on me. I would take surgery to make sure I never had to feel that again.
Post # 16
Aside from problems getting sterilized because of being deemed “too young” by a doctor, vasectomies and tubal ligations are surgeries that cost money and take time to recuperate from (especially the tubals).
Also, it’s worth noting that there are reversible forms of birth control that are more effective than the average sterilization. The birth control implant actually has a lower failure rate than the vasectomy, which is more effective than a tubal.