Post # 1
I don’t mean to be rude and I’m sorry if it comes across that way, but for those waiting bees who have been with their SO for years or have even set a walk date, why not just propose yourself? I know it’s not for everyone, but if it’s something you’ve discussed and they’re just dragging their feet, why not take the initiative?
This is just something I’m curious about after reading through this forum. As the girl who proposed to the guy, it just seemed strange that people would be in a relationship for years and years just waiting to be proposed to.
Post # 3
because if the guy’s dragging his feet, there’s a good chance it’s because he’s just not ready yet. guys, statistically, feel ready for marriage much later than girls, because they like to feel set in their career first etc. ie in a survey, guys seem to be ready from age 28-35, while girls are ready at 23 (if I remember correctly; something like this)!
anyway, I don’t mind proposing, but in our first year together he already told me he wanted to do the proposing. so I let him have his little spotlight. ;P we’re already breaking a lot of traditions, like I won’t be taking his last name, he does the cleaning around the house, etc. gotta let him have something!
Post # 4
I agree with Patchy.
I have actually asked my SO how he would feel about me proposing to him. which he said, he wants to ask me. so with that being said, I wait. plus call me old fashion, but I want him to ask me.
Post # 5
@notestasiskis: Yea I tried that once and he said no.
Post # 6
No way! I’m an old fashioned girl and want to be surprised with a proposal.
Post # 7
I agree with PP.
I asked SO one time about how he felt if I asked him. He was shocked and did not like the idea. SO said he wants to propose to me, he wants to do everything the traditional way. In addition, he has not proposed yet because of financial reasons. He is still in school.
Post # 8
I agree, I think taking the marriage step has to be a mutual decision when both parties are ready, not the girl sitting around waiting for the guy to purpose. For us we agreed on 5 years of dating and living together before discussing getting engaged and we are both mutually happy with that plan. If one person is way ahead of their partner on the marriage timeline then it may just not be for the best.
Post # 9
I’m old fashion myself, and so is he. Yes he does joke around saying that I should do it but if I did he would be upset.
Post # 10
@notestasiskis: he won’t even take my name so no i don’t think me proposing will work out lmao…..
Post # 11
um, he doesnt want me asking him, so i wait. theres your answer.
Post # 12
While I don’t have a problem with women proposing, I feel (in my own situation) that it’s his moment.
Post # 13
@tisposeroperche: Me too!! SURPRISED with a proposal, not knowing it and go get the ring together! I like the romantic way, not the “modern” one!
Post # 14
There’s no reason the girl shouldn’t be the one to propose in this day and age! Believe me, I was -this- close to doing it at various points in our 6 year relationship. On the other hand, it makes sense to see how the SO feels about it first and test the waters before doing something like that… you don’t want to end up with a bewildered SO who may in fact have already started planning a proposal in his mind.
I ended up not doing it and just shutting it because my SO is the type that when he does make a decision that he wants to do something, he dives into it 100% and there’s no looking back… so I had the feeling that he genuinely wasn’t ready and I backed off the man-gagement plan. I knew it would all unfold when the time was right, although waiting is soooo hard sometimes!!
Sure enough, one day we were just sitting on the couch and he says “You know I want to marry you, right?” Ummmm, no, actually I didn’t 🙂
Post # 15
This question is frequently asked on the waiting board 😛 For me, it is because my SO is very traditional and wants to propose himself to make it official. I’ve jokes with him in the past that I would propose to him but he said that he would say no. It is very important for him to propose.
Post # 16
Thanks for all of the responses, I was just curious. I know everyone’s relationships and situations are different. FI would always say that if I wanted to be impatient that I’d have to ask him. Even though he was planning a proposal, it was still going to be years before it happened and it’s gonna be years even though we’re engaged now.
I guess this question was more directed at those who’ve set a date that they’re going to leave if they aren’t engaged by then. Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like if you’re already down to a last resort, doing it yourself would be better than leaving the person you want to marry.
Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone who is waiting.