(Closed) Question for you Army Bees

posted 4 years ago in Military
  • poll: Now or After Basic Training?
    Now : (5 votes)
    63 %
    After Basic : (3 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8001 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @ErinBlue:  I don’t know about the US, but in the UK your partner basically does not exist unless you are married. It is incredibly difficult to get housing etc for non-married couples.

    If you can, I would marry first.

    Post # 5
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Unless your MOS is specifically written into your contract, and your follow on school and dates are written into your official orders then you will have no idea when or where you are going. (Not to mention you may get hurt in basic and be unable to finish in the normal amount of time. You may go into “holding” until you’re able to complete and that could be any amount of time.) If you want him to go with you to your first station you need to get married before you step on the bus to basic.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3672 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    ErinBlue I highly suggest doing it AFTER because no bride wants to go through hell at basic right after getting married. You can easily get paperwork done within a day or two so don’t speed things up because you are concerned about paperwork. Not sure why everyone thinks he can’t come to your first duty station…When you have graduation day you will be able to go off base for a bit to celebrate with your FI and I suggest you get married while off base. Basic is a growing experience for both of you and it is best to do it without marriage. I wanted to hop on the elope train before basic as well but I am so glad I didn’t. He can’t come with you to basic and I watched so many people struggle because it didn’t feel right to be apart so soon after getting married.

    I give the same advice to people trying to get married right before deployment. Just breathe and wait till you can be together for even a couple weeks! FI and I were married not during basic graduation but actually during his PCS! That is another option. It is more fufilling and less stress. Don’t do that to yourself because basic sucks enough.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    3672 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @dancingriss:  She would find out the week of graduation at the VERY latest and the fact that she could go into holding would make being married suck even more. She can easily get married during basic graduation or at the very least during her PCS

    Post # 8
    Member
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Depends on what you mean by wedding. If you’re talking like a big traditional event with family and the whole  shebang,  then definitely before going to basic. You don’t know when you will be able to take leave, and planning a large event from Lord knows how many miles away is HARD. If you’re talking like a small JOP ceremony,  before or after would be super easy.  Honestly,  for ease I would just marry him before basic, that way he’s right away on benefits, and able to live with you in housing. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1524 posts
    Bumble bee

    @ErinBlue:  dnt try to do a wedding full blown but do it court house besides if u do it before u will get more money to help back home

    Post # 11
    Member
    3672 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ErinBlue: The most that could happen would be having to wait till you PCS after some kind of tech. school depending on your MOS. This happened to us but it was only a couple of months and tech school was worse than basic (at least for us) so, it was really great having motivation with the wedding coming up. The only reason I feel strongly about this is because 1 out of 5 brides was happy she got married before but they had kids already…SO, they kinda had too. The inital shock of leaving your FI would be devastating but having him be a new husband would be a real cord breaker. In the end it is really about you too though and getting leave really isn’t that hard. We did a court ceremony during PCS and are planning the big wedding for family in October. Usually you don’t deploy until after your first year (depedning on MOS). Just make sure that whatever you do isn’t because of a worry of military but, because of it being the right time. 

     

    WE originally wanted to marry before hand (court house) but, something didn’t feel right. Trust me, after you see each other for the first time getting out of basic it will FEEL like the BEST time to get hitched. You will have been missing each other so much and the love you feel after basic is so strong. Our civil ceremony after tech. school (we had to wait dur to MOS for three months) was so insanely emotional for just a court house wedding. Our parents and us were presenst and even my FI was crying! My FI had never cried infront of me before after all three years together! Having the wedding after just feels like such a reward

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    3672 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ErinBlue:  If you get months together than that is SO diffferent! Way to many people try and get married with in a month of leaving and it eats them alive. If you get a good amount of time together then I would have suggested getting married. It really is the last minute rush it in brides that end up struggling the most. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3672 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ErinBlue:  Military is crazy enough without ruining special moments! You guys will love the married life as a milspouse! I have to say that the ravel makes it more than worth it 

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