(Closed) Boyfriend and sex. Warning: TMI

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

just curious…is he on any medication? anything at ALL?

Post # 4
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i’ve experienced it on and off with FI. he’s on some medication that causes it and FI has mastered “holding it in” per se… like when he feels it coming 10 minutes in and wants the sex to last longer… but that almost always meant that i would get off, it’d be really hard for him to after having sex for so long.

it’s not anything about you, it’s really a phsyical friction type of thing. we’ve stopped when neither one of us was feeling like we were going to climax as well.

i think the most important thing is communication about it and knowing that both of you are happy in your sex life.

it hardly ever happens now for  us, cuz im so tired all the time after work/school that FI is super excited when we have sex. LOL. needless to say he doesn’t last much longer than ten minutes 😛

 

Post # 5
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My fiance almost never “finishes,” but appears to definitely enjoy sex!

I’ve learned that it’s not me and that different people climax differently.  Apparently this is a problem he’s had with past partners as well.

 

Post # 6
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, the boy doesn’t always finish. But I don’t always finish either, you know? I certainly (almost) enjoy sex but some nights I just know I’m not going to finish. 

If one of us gets the feeling we won’t be finishing that night, we tell the other one. That way we can either focus on just having fun or we “give up” for the night and just cuddle 🙂

Post # 7
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Definitely let us know if he takes any medication. That could have an affect on the “finishing”

Post # 8
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s typically a medication issue. Pot smokers seem to have this issue, too.

IF it is not either of those, maybe “Too much” masterbation? I know supposedly there is no such thing as too much, but if he is extremely accustomed to his own hand…

I guess I would say, if he isn’t worried about it, I wouldn’t be, either.

Post # 9
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Does he finish a little too quickly some of the other times? I’ve heard that men who are typically “premature” tend to get in the habit of trying to hold it in, to the point that when they want to finish, they can’t.

Post # 10
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

FI has “not finished” from time to time and it is usually because he holds it in earlier (before I have finished) and he wants me to finish first. When this happens sometimes we take a break (like literally just lie there while still… ugh… connected) and then he musters up some energy to continue and he can usually finish but there have been a couple occasions when he hasn’t.

Orgasm’s can be mental with guys just as they are with females. If he is stressed or not 100% there (thinking about other things) it can affect him “finishing”.

Don’t worry it is NOT YOU!

Just try things out (rest periods) etc. and try to find what works for him

Good Luck

Post # 11
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m really interested in the response to this, because it’s an issue for FI and me as well. 

My FI has NEVER finished in intercourse, in over a year of sex. He says it’s because of the condoms we use (which are decent quality, but still a barrier). We’ve NEVER done it without one. He says he still enjoys it and he’s confident that when we lose the condoms after the wedding there won’t be any more problems. I believe him because he is able to finish with oral. But at the same time I was worried for a while, because I do want us to be able to have children the natural way. 

Post # 12
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The only time my FI hasn’t finished is when he hasn’t been well.  Not very often at all.  Maybe twice in the whole time we have been together.

I am wondering if it is an experience issue, and that is not bad.  My FI was alot more experienced then me when we got together, and he knows how he likes to finish basically.  We have about three different things I can do for him which helps him to finsih.  All of which he taught me. And he has tricks that he has learnt that he uses for me, and he knows what I like and what makes me finish.  So I very rarely miss out either.

And in the time I have been with him I have learnt the tricks that he likes, but have also learnt to put my own spin on them.  And have actually suprised him.  One night I was too intense for him, and U was proud

My suggestions is to relax and experiment.  Explore of other and find out what you each like and what really pleases each other.

Post # 13
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I wouln’t be too terribly concerned. I would begin to get worried if it becomes a more frequent problem, or if the FI gets updet about it.

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