Post # 1
So we got our first wedding presents, yay!!! I thought this was way early for people to be buying presents but we had two bought this weekend off our Honeyfund registry. Anyway, the first one that was bought, the person mentioned they bought the gift but isn’t going to give us the actual present until the wedding, but the second one (which was an awesome surprise) actually sent us the money already and a phone call and text to make sure we got it. I called him and thanked him but do I wait until after the wedding to send a thank you or do I send it now even though it’s for our March wedding? Do I send one now and one after the wedding? I’m so confused and I’m just not sure what etiquette calls for in this situation.
Thanks for your help.
Post # 3
For the first circumstance, I would wait until you receive the gift to send a thank you card.
For the second (the money situation), I’d honestly write and send the card now…espectially as the giver has been really concerned about whether you had received it, etc. Make a note of it (just in case the person gives you a card at your wedding).
It sounds kind of gross, but I used Excel to make a “gift” spreadsheet…that way, I could keep track and use my address lists at the same time- super helpful.
Post # 4
I agree with @ArwenBride: Wait for the gift for the first one, but send it right away for the sencond one.
Post # 5
It is always best to send a thank you as soon as the gift is received. In the first case, you haven’t yet received a gift so hold off on sending the note.
But for those you have received the gold standard is to get the note in the mail before you go to sleep on the day you receive it.
Post # 6
Thanks everyone. I haven’t even ordered my thank you’s yet, I wasn’t expecting anything this soon, we haven’t even sent out invitations, planned a shower yet, finished registering or anything. So I will get on that and get those ordered tonight. I knew I wasn’t sending a thank you yet for the first present but the second one I wasn’t sure on.
Post # 7
You can use a plain sheet of white paper to write a thank-you note, or a plain white fold-over note; you don’t need special wedding thank-you cards. In fact, a plain white fold-over note is considered more “proper” than a printed card or a photo card.
Post # 8
Send him a non wedding thank you card–you can use a plain notecard like you would send a letter with or just pretty stationary. For good measure (since this person sounds like a super sweet person) I’d probably send another card with the other wedding thank yous after the wedding, thanking them again for their gift but mostly for being with you on that special day. It’s a small amount of effort on your part but would probably mean the world to that person.
Post # 9
We did photo thank you cards with a wedding photo on it. Obviously, we couldn’t have these made before the wedding, so we just bought a generic box of thank you notes (still pretty and wedding’ish) and used those for any gifts that we received before the wedding. If you plan to do more personal thank you’s after the wedding, you could also send them one of those, telling them thanks for attending (if they attend).
But I agree with the others – for the gifts you actually receive, you need to send a thank you now.
Post # 10
For cash I waited until after the wedding, for presents I send a thank you within two weeks (before the wedding).
After the wedding I send thank yous at 3 weeks (but I think anything under a month is perfect).
I too have an excel spreadsheet. I think it’s smart and a nice way to keep track of thank yous.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone. I don’t actually have stationary or generic thank you cards here (shows how often I write letters 🙂 ) which is what I meant by ordering some, we were just going to order some pretty and simple ones, but I might have to run to dollar tree and see what they have to send him one out. We’re doing photo thank you’s after the wedding, and sending each person a picture of the excursion from our honeymoon that they helped purchase. So he will get a second thank you from us after the wedding as well.