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Question re: bridal shower hosting

posted 3 months ago in Parties
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    1.
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    407 posts
    Helper bee
    MeghanV    May 2010   New York

    Is it the norm for all the bridesmaids - including out of state ones, who won't be attending - to contribute financially to a bridesmaid-hosted bridal shower?  Would love to hear opinions.  Intentionally holding my own thoughts back until I hear what people say :)

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    baletrina    May 27, 2012   Chicago, Illinois

    I would say no.  It is customary for the maid of honor to take on most of the cost of the bridal shower.  Sometimes the moms chip in.  Bridesmaids usually don't contribute unless they are asked which is something I have not seen.

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    I think it depends. One of my BMs did help contribute to one of my showers, but it wasn't nearly as much as my MOH. Granted, it was a non-traditional shower...so the MOH and Best Man paid for most of it. The 1 BM offered to bring the games, which were later gifted to FI and I.

    For my other shower, it's my MOH and my Mom for the most part. Now I feel bad for my MOH. Lol. Luckily I may be returning the favor soon! And she's getting a super BM gift and some other stuff.

     
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    Honey bee
    NDBee    March 10, 2012  

    If it's an invite from MOH, then I'd assume she'd cover most of the costs (maybe the other gals can bring desserts or snacks if they attend, etc). If it's hosted by 'all BMs,' then I'd expect them to share pretty equally in the expense.

    If, however, it's impossible for a gal to not be present due to being out of state or otherwise occupied and unable to attend, I wouldn't expect her to pay in because she's not there to enjoy the party. She could definitely send her own gift to the bride, but that's separate than helping host/throw/pay for the shower. 

     
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    Bee Keeper
    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    @NDBee:  <-- Also, pretty much what she said. Since she said it 2439484 times better.

     
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    Busy bee
    futuremrsfitz18    September 9, 2012   Boston, MA

    If the bridesmaids would like to help host the shower, then they may.  It should not be expected of them, and CERTAINLY should be not expected if they cannot attend.

     
    7.
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    Sugar bee
    atalante    May 19, 2012  

    When I was a MOH, I didn't have any help at all with the shower.. so I'd say no, although it sure would be nice. :\

     
    8.
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    Blushing bee
    Lorelei       Southern USA

    @MeghanV:  

    No---if they cannot attend because they are out of town---they, in my mind, are exempt.

    Where I am from, the bridesmaids and MOH do not have the "requirement" of doing any showers or bridal tea---though they do usually throw the bachelorette or lingerie shower.

    Usually friends of the bride's mother does the bridal shower/tea---as we do them quite large---and most bridesmaids are young and not able to spend that much to throw a super nice bridal shower/tea.

    It's a nice to have---but certainly not a requirement.

     
    9.
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    Bumble bee
    andielovesj    August 13, 2011  

    @MeghanV:  No whomever hosts the event bears full responsibility for the costs.  Sometimes all the BMs will contribute, but it certainly isn't required, and this should be discussed privately by them, and determined before anything else is set about the shower.

     
    10.
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    Helper bee
    MeghanV    May 2010   New York

    Thanks for the responses - interesting how different they are.

    I've honestly never heard of the MOH bearing all the costs - all my friends' showers were hosted by all the bridesmaids (including me).  Right now I'm helping with a shower for a bride with a bridal party that is half northeasters and half midwesterners, so there've been some differing opinions on how to get 'er done.

    Thanks!

     
    11.
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    Worker bee
    918Lux    May 5, 2012   Oklahoma

    Anytime I've been in a wedding, the bridesmaids collectively threw a shower. I think this is primarily because the expense has been too great to have just the MOH take on the task.

    In a month or so, my bridesmaids will all be hosting a couples shower for us, I can't wait!

     

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