Question: Why do Jack and Jill parties charge money?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Jack & Jill, Stag & Doe Parties, are most definitely a “regional” custom (if not a cultural thing)

I cannot say I’ve ever been a fan (and where I grew up in Canada they were extremely common / the norm)

They do raise money for the Couple… and sometimes a lot

I just find them inappropriate because they are blatant fundraisers… and I don’t agree with folks fundraising for a Wedding

(Someone who’s house burned down, their Mom has cancer… sure 100% behind that.  BUT not a Wedding.  A Wedding is a joyous occasion, not a hardship.  One doesn’t NEED money to get married… you just go out and do it.  Make it happen)

 

Post # 4
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Omgbunnies:  I think they are rude too. If you can’t afford to have a wedding, don’t have one. Please don’t ask me to help pay for it because I won’t. I grew up in Ontario and every single person I know had one. The admission fee was usually between $10 and $30…all to go to a “party” where I have to pay for booze, games, and raffle tickets. Wow, that sounds fun 😛

Post # 5
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Omgbunnies:  Technically, doesn’t the bridal party host them?  I’ve never been to one personally, but have relatives in an area where socials are common.

Post # 6
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve never heard of these…are they in addition to a bridal shower and bachelor and bachelorette parties?

Post # 7
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Wait, wait, wait: you’re charged “admission” and it doesnt even cover your food and drinks? All goes straight to the couple? What?

Post # 8
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Omgbunnies:  i thought Jack and Jill was just another name for a couples shower.

I have NEVER heard of charging admission.  that is RUDE.

 

Post # 10
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Omgbunnies:  They are a fundraiser.  I went to a couple in Thunder Bay, and tickets were something like $5.  I wouldn’t go for more much more unless there was some great entertainment or something.  Usually the drinks are cheaper than at a bar, though.

Post # 11
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ajillity81:  +1  me too.  I’ve been to a Jack & Jill shower but have never ever heard of this.  What a bizarre custom!!

Post # 12
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

I have never heard of that. It isn’t done here.

Post # 13
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

In my area they are super common. I will be having  one

Post # 14
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Are they generally free for alls?

Because I was invited to one last year, and was not invited to the wedding. I couldn’t go to the party, because I actually had a wedding to go to that day. But it was rather off-putting to be invited to a J&J for $20/person, and not be invited to the wedding…

Post # 15
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@pineapplez17:  The first place I encountered them was Thunder Bay, and there, there aren’t invitations.  You get all your friends to sell tickets, and you have it at the Legion hall or something.  Basically you ge the gate, and the hall gets the drink sales.  You get the proceeds of raffles, etc., as well, but you set those up yourself.  So, there are no invitaitons, in my experience.

I thought they were weird, but the more I think about it, I kind of see it as “paying it forward.”  Everyone has one, and it’s been going on a long time, so lots of random people helped you raise money for your wedding, and your first home together, and then every year you go to a handful of these things, and help another couple get started.  It’s kind of a cool tradition if you look at it that way. And they’re fun.  I mean, it’s a laugh riot – a bunch of random people go, get drunk out of their minds on $3 drinks, sit at folding tables, play cards, talk to strangers, buy raffle tickets for whatever the B&G could get donated.  I mean, honestly, they’re weird as anything, but they are just a blast in the end.

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

They are super popular in rural parts of Canada… where they are typically known as a Stag & Doe (or “a Social”). 

Jack & Jill here still refers to a Guys & Girls (Couples) Showers, and that is something TOTALLY DIFFERENT… and quite acceptable.  Nothing like a fundraiser whatsoever.

With a Stag & Doe, one buys a ticket to go… somewhere in the range of $ 5 to $ 25 a person.  Usually tickets are sold in advance, and people who know the couple may buy a ticket altho they may not even go.

Oftentimes the Stag & Doe Event is advertised in the local Newspaper, in the Social or Classifieds section.

The Party is typically held at a Community Hall, Legion Hall, or a Local “Bar”.

Anywhere that can be found that the Booze is cheaper (and well, booze isn’t cheap in Canada to begin with)

There is typically a DJ, and sometimes stuff to eat… nothing fancy.

The couple pays out for the DJ and occasionally some food… as well as making sure there are Door Prizes etc.

It isn’t unusual of the Couple to sell 50/50 Tickets “by the arm length”, and Door Prize Tickets… the better the Door Prizes, the more that people will pay to buy em (ie 3 for $ 10 vs 3 for $ 5)

For Door Prizes, often the couple will shell out for stuff like Bottles of Booze, Electronics, Getaway Weekends etc… in order to try and sell more tickets (to the event, and for the Draw)

I grew up around these parties, so in “that way / world” they are most definitely the norm.  BUT as I said I cannot say I am a fan.  They are pure & simple fundraisers, and therefore tacky IMO.

@Omgbunnies: Your location says New England, so I am guessing wherever you are you are seeing “spillage” over from Canada… as there are many Canadian Families that have ties in the Upper States.

PS… I once heard that Stag & Does were popular because it was a way that Couples from more Rural Areas / Farming Communities of Canada could manage to take their Brides off to the BIG City for a Honeymoon.  (Remembering here that Canada is very much a HUGE country, with a scant population, we are BIGGER than the USA, but only have 1/10th of the population).  Much like a “Barn Raising” it was a way that the community came together to help the couple have a pleasant start in life / Wedding – Honeymoon.  That tho would have been the 30s, 40s and 50s… the world has changed a lot since then… including the “geography” of Canada, in that now the cities are much easier to get to (Expressways etc), on can now “go to town” in a lot shorter amount of time, and our population is a lot better off no matter where they live, so this tradition really is no longer a required thing IMO

 

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