Questioning my MOH

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

First, I have been not that great with keeping to our plans such as meeting up for meals.

What did you mean by this?

Post # 3
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Personally, I don’t think what you did on her wedding day is that big of a deal. But obviously it was to her. Did you make the whole bridal party late by getting there late? The oj is just ridiculous. And I can’t blame you for leaving early if she didn’t specifically say “hey, you have to stay until it is over so you can help me clean up”…. 

If she can’t be happy for you I wouldnt make her moh. Sometimes friendships aren’t meant to last forever.

Post # 5
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

I wish you would just say what you mean without sugar-caoting and minimizing and vagueing the hell out of it while simultaneously making excuses for yourself and making it sound like she is the bad guy. Have you blown her off multiple times and sometimes with very little to no notice?

Post # 6
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

Because this is what I’m hearing and probably what she is hearing: Yeah, I was an hour late the morning of her wedding and forgot something that was really important to her, but me me me me. And yeah I then left her reception early becasue I felt like I wasn’t getting any attention but me me me me. And yeah, I’ve blown off plans multiple times over the last year but me me me me. Now I don’t know if I want her as a MOH because ……

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

AtI just changed my MoH. I knew I had to do it…. but our friendship is basically over. At least for now… I guess just prepare yourself for the mourning.

Post # 8
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

No offense, but one of my bridesmaids (not even a MOH) was an hour late to hair/makeup on my wedding day (which totally threw of the schedule and made us late to the ceremony) and left the reception as soon as my father daughter dance was over (because she was fighting with her boyfriend). I know you didn’t leave nearly as early as my bridesmaid did, but the whole experience was really upsetting and I’d definitely be upset if I were your MOH. 

But … what’s done is done and I think if she’s going to keep resenting you for what happened over a year ago, it’s not the best idea to make her your MOH. You want to enjoy your wedding & not worry about this drama. Is there another friend that you’re really close to that you could ask?

Post # 9
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Are you recognising she’s holding a grudge or are you projecting? Are you still feeling guilty and so you think she didn’t really forgive you, ’cause you still feel bad? Talk to her and try not to defend yourself but acknowledge her feelings. If you still don’t feel comfortable go with somebody else

Post # 10
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Sorry,  but you don’t sound like you’ve been a very good friend to her. You have many excuses why instead of just owning up to basically letting her down on multiple occasions. Now it seems you want her to be the perfect MoH for you and don’t want to be treated the way you treated her. 

Good luck with that. 

Post # 11
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

I sincerely think that your MOH is still irritated with you because you’re still selfish and still doing irritating, selfish stuff.

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee

interchangeable:  MrsYokiman:  both of your posts are spot on and i have to agree! OP is a terrible friend. She should accept it, reflect on her bad behaviors, and move on from the damaged friendship. 

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