- 4 years ago
So here’s the deal, I am 35 and the youngest of 4 grandsons (my father was an only child) and the last one to get married. In 2007 my grandmother passed away just 4 months shy of my grandparent’s 70th anniversary but my grandfather is still alive and well. My girlfriend and I were just visiting him a couple of weeks ago and she saw my grandmother’s ring and LOVES it (she said that I should buy one like that).
My question is about how I should go about trying to get the ring… My grandfather has mentioned in the past that my grandmother should have been buried with her ring because he doesn’t know what to do with it. He absolutely will not sell it and I’m not sure if it’s in his will to pass down to anybody other than my father getting it with the rest of the family farm and belongings.
I would like to ask my grandfather for it to use to propose to my now girlfriend (someone who he likes VERY much) and he has mentioned in the past that I should not worry about the money for a ring; that if I wanted to propose and didn’t have the money for one that he could help me out. He didn’t give any futher specifics.
I’m not sure what my parent’s or brothers would think about me getting the ring. I’m not sure that my mom cares that much as long as whoever gets it doesn’t sell it, dad has never even mentioned the ring, and I’ve never heard any brothers mention it that I can remember. I do have one sister-in-law who saw it and loves it too and told my brother to buy her one just like it but I’m not sure if her opinion should really matter. Not that I don’t love her, I do, but I think this should be more between my brother’s, my parents, grandfather, and I. My concern is that as the youngest I was naturally spoiled a little more than the older brothers and I could see some jealousy creep up… I should add that we were all VERY close to our grandparents and did and still do spend a lot of time with grandpa.
Naturally I would pass the ring down to later generations, whether they’re my own descendents or not. I’ve even considered offering a deal that I will buy my GF a new ring at our ten year anniversary and pass the ring on at that point. My concern is that it stays in the family but with all of my brothers being married and I”m not, I’m the only one who can really make what I feel is the proper use of a family wedding ring.
I’m not asking because I’m cheap and don’t want to spend money on a ring, frankly by GF doesn’t care how expensive the ring is and neither do I. I want it because of the kind of relationship my grandparents had and because my GF reminds me in so many ways of my grandmother.
What is everyone’s thoughts on how to go about asking for the ring (and obviously getting it before my grandfather passes away) or if I should even consider asking for it???