Questions about weddings

posted 3 years ago in New Jersey – North Central New Jersey
Post # 3
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@xoxo16:  I don’t know the first thing about NJ so I am no help there, but I can tell you it’s SO MUCH CHEAPER to have a smaller wedding. FI and I are having our actual wedding ceremony with a sit down dinner after with immediate family, and spending $1500, then having a reception 3 months later which is going to be an informal party of pulled pork and beer, which is costing around $800-$1000.

 

As for a weekday wedding, if they really want to come, they will come. A Friday night shouldn’t deter people from coming. A Tuesday or Wednesday might, but not Friday.

 

Good luck and Congrats!

Post # 4
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@xoxo16:  Oh, and when people ask why they aren’t invited, we say “because we wanted to have immediate family only for the ceremony. You will get an invite to the reception!”

 

Don’t feel bad about who you do/don’t invite.

Post # 5
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You’ll need to define what is “inexpensive” to you– it’s not the same to everyone.  How much do you want to spend total?  What’s most important to you (food, location, flowers, photographer, etc)? Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

A wedding costs exactly how much you want to spend.  You can have an 80$ dress from Modcloth or a 10,000$ couture gown.  You can spend 500$ on one centerpiece, or chose not to have them at all.   

I don’t know about NJ, but traditional wedding venues like hotels are expensive.  Halls owned by the City or churches or community groups are a lot cheaper.  You can save by choosing a Friday or Sunday, or a brunch.  And if you really want to save, cake and champagne.

The most expensive thing about a wedding is being pressured by your family, friends, and sites like StyleMePretty.  It’s so easy to say “It’s only an extra 500$? Why not?”.  But 500$ here and there adds up when you’re not careful.       

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Have you checked out affordable options, like Veteran Halls, or Fire Halls? There are some REALLY gorgeous ones out there!

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@canadajane:  +1

 

Our reception is at a sportsman’s club, so it really is cheap. His parents have a commercial grade pig roaster, so we just have to get side dishes. We booked the deejay when he was running a special, so we didn’t pay that much. All the decorations are from the dollar store and hobby lobby. 

 

We knew we couldn’t go broke over a wedding, so we didn’t.

Post # 13
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You can do a lot with $15,000.  My wedding for 80 people in downtown Chicago cost just under $8000.  The key is compromise– you won’t feed 250 steak and lobster, or have fireworks from the centerpieces, but you can have a lovely day.  

Consider the things most important to you and go from there.  We had our wedding on a Saturday afternoon, served cocktails and appetizers for lunch and had a 3 hour reception.  It was low-stress and intimate, and we loved it.  You can do it!

Post # 16
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@xoxo16:  one thing you need to throw a beautiful wedding and not go into debt…grows a “hard heart”…sounds weird…but the last thing you need to think about is other people’s feelings…..their feelings get hurt and you try to fix it, the result your bank account is hurting…and most of those “hurt ” guest aren’t going to pressure you afterwards to help you recoup the cost……best thing is to not think about anyone but you and your FI and be selfish a bit.

As for finding a venue….look outside the box…go to old historic houses, city parks, green house. Someone’s huge farm or estate where you can pitch a tent and rent from them….Friday weddings are cool because the people who really want to be there will go out of their way to get there and the ones who just want free food and drink may not make the effort..in the end saving you money.

 

 

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