questions on +1's, guest list, & retrieving addresses

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@laceydoilies:  ugh, guest list. doing that was the wost – we’re also having a fairly small wedding (we wanted fifty, we’ve invited seventy, and we’re hoping for sixty). So, here’s my two cents: 

1. No, plus ones are not required. Stick to your guns! I’ve had a friend that I’ve been on the outs with for a number of years, but was a very important person to me at one point, complain that she wasn’t getting a plus one (she hasn’t dated anyone in the last ten years). If them having a plus one means that you can’t invite someone else from your list that you really want there, I say don’t give them a plus one. 

2. I would divide up this list into columns of “must haves” and “maybes” and then when you get the names from FMIL, see if those people are more important to you than anyone on the “maybes” list. If not, sorry, no room. 

3. Is anyone on facebook? Can you go to their houses and look at their address book? I would give them a deadline of when you’re sending out STDs/invites (with a buffer in there), and leave it to them to give you the addresses by those dates. No address, no invite. Or if you have the contact information for even one person, you can ask them if they have John’s or Mary’s address. 

Post # 5
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@laceydoilies:  I think we make certain concessions for family members – giving them a plus one or a date is not the same, imo. I don’t think anyone will bat an eye (we’re having a kid-free wedding, but we’re allowing BIL to bring his little one, as well as our friends flying in from Winnipeg to bring their baby – but not allowing in-town or my cousins to bring their toddler I think different relationships get differnt concessions).

Yeah, if he doesn’t feel that Aunty Rose is more vital than his buddy Scott, then that’s his choice. I would leave it up to him, with the understanding that there is a bottom line and you only get X number of invites. (FMIL was trying to invite her MIL/FIL’s besties – four extra couples – and I just said, That’s 1/3 of FH’s invites which needs to include his best friends, some of our mutual friends and all of his family). I would try not to get in the middle of it, and leave it up to them. Don’t turn yourself into the bad guy on this one. 

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