Post # 1
I tried to call my church today to ask about getting married but it’s my priest’s day off. What questions did you ask during your first conversation with the priest?
Here’s a little bit about us: I’m a confirmed Catholic hoping to get married in the church I grew up in. I’m a registered member of this church, but I sometimes attend there and sometimes attend the church that’s closer to my home. I don’t tithe anywhere because I’m a full time student. Fiance is not Catholic, but occasionally attends church with me. He’s not interested in becoming Catholic either. Planning to get married in 2012. Fiance thinks he was baptised Christian but is not 100% sure.
Post # 3
I have yet to speak to our priest, but I’d be asking what the selection of readings and music is that you have to choose from, what the pre cana requirements are and what the cost of getting married in the church will be.
In your situation I’d also ask whether your fiance needs to produce his baptism certificate (which I suspect he will) and what he needs to do if he hasn’t been baptised.
The priest will probably tell you most of the information you need to know, good lucj
Post # 4
i just had my first “introductory” meeting with my priest, and it was fairly cut and dry – he took down a lot of information about my Fiance and i (addresses, parents, Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man, etc.)
i am still a registered parishoner at the church where we are getting married, but don’t attend mass there regularly due to the distance (i live about 40 minutes away now and go to a church for regular mass much closer to home)
also, he’ll probably want to talk with you about dates, times, etc. at this point, but may hold off on any more until you get closer to the wedding date – we aren’t doing the FOCUS test until sometime in August, and will do Pre-Cana after that
the selection of the readings comes much later (at least in my church), but he gave us the information on organists and singers to look over and get a head-start on as well
so, since theres a pretty good chunk of time before your wedding, it will likely be mostly preliminary at this point, and then progress further in the future
as for your Fiance not being catholic, i really have no advice to offer there, as i have no experience with it – although, the other inter-faith marriages that i’ve seen have been accomplished without a hitch, so good luck to you!
Post # 5
I am in a similar situation as you are. I am a confirmed catholic and it is very important to my family that we have a full catholic mass. My fiance is not catholic, wasn’t baptised, and is not interested in becoming catholic. Out of respect to me comes to mass every once in a while.
I was very nervous about finding a church that would accept our situation, but we did! The most important thing is to 1) be honest and open about your situation and 2) don’t take no for an answer. I was told by a few that we couldn’t be married and by one that only a deacon could marry us (so only the marriage, not a full mass), but I kept on it and found a catholic church that will marry us with a full mass.
So to answer your question just tell them your situation and say that you would like to be married there. We haven’t had our first meeting yet, but i’ve been told the first meeting is really just the priest getting to know the couple.
I got discouraged during my search because I thought that it wouldn’t be possible to find a catholic church that would marry us because he wasn’t baptised, but it all worked out.
Hope this helps! Good luck.
Post # 6
Thanks for the input. I’m really nervous about finding his baptismal records. His mom had him when she was 16 and now she’s a drug addict and he hasn’t had any contact with her in a while. His grandma, who is the person that would have been the driving force in getting him baptised, is now passed away. Even if he was baptised, it may be next to impossible to figure out when/where it happened. I’ve heard that the priest from the church where I really want to get married is super conservative and won’t marry a non-Catholic 🙁
Post # 7
If you can figure out where he might have gotten baptized the church may have records. All I had was a note from a minister at our church (not the one that baptized me) that I had been baptized at the church.
Post # 8
When we met with our priest, it was before we got engaged. We wanted some spiritual direction prior to the big engagement, so it was cool to talk to him at that stage. He asked us a bunch of questions about why we wanted to get married, etc. It was good to hear ourselves say those things out loud.
I would really recommend not just focusing on logistics when you talk to your priest but ask things like what can you do to prepare for your marriage. Or what advice does he have for this stage of your life, etc. I think its worth it.