Post # 1
Okay so here’s the thing..I’m in my cousins wedding in August and so far I have had to pay for everything:Dress with alterations – $250Shoes – $30Hair & Makeup – $50Jewellery – $20 (about)Shower gifts – $90
I was also the only bridesmaid to go help set up for her shower and help with that during the past few months.Now her bachelorette party is coming up and it’s at my house, I’m getting the decorations, I’m making the cake/cupcake, I’m getting her T-Shirt and Veil and everything else that has to go with the party. I’m not too sure if we’re going out yet so that’s more money.. and the girls want to do a group gift with lingerie. They originally wanted to do emboidered towels but she’s not the type. Anyways, I have no problem spending the money because I knew what it meant when said yes to be a bridesmaid but since her MOH dropped out a lot has fell in my shoulder since we’re very close.. practically sisters.. and I know that nobody else will put in the effort for a nice party if I dont, and I love her so much I can’t let that happen.
but my question is… what do I give them for a wedding gift? do I give them anything? I see a lot of posts about being upset about people going to the wedding and not getting anything. Is the wedding party supposed to? We will if we have to obviously.. but just wondering!
Post # 3
@Miss Marbles: I think if you’re in the wedding party, it’s understood that you’ve spent a ton of money, and a gift isn’t necessary. However, if you bring a date, that person should cover their plate.
Post # 4
If you were my BM, i would have already told you not to buy a wedding gift. You’ve already sunk so much money into it!
Post # 5
Thanks ladies! I’m super stressed about it.. I feel like I’ve spent enough but don’t want to upset her..
Post # 6
I just was in a wedding with a similar experience… By the time of the wedding, I just couldn’t afford a gift… Plus I gave her a shower gift and a bachelorette party gift 🙂
Post # 7
I did it all as a bridesmaid too. Ugh the ugliest dress on earth and she decided we had to have them custom made….teal moray taffeta with a white lace overlap, hideous. I attended the showers, parties, and drove 4 hrs after working all night to be in the wedding party, and gave her a gift. There was never any doubt in my mind, that was in the 1994. I can’t say I would feel the same now.
Post # 8
I agree with the poster who said that you don’t need to bring a gift but if you bring a date, they should give a gift to cover their plate… other bees will say a gift is never necessary but I kind of don’t feel that way
Post # 9
I do not expect gifts from my BMs, but its all up to and your relationship with the couple, if you really want to get them something you can but they really have no right to be mad if you dont.
Post # 10
In this situation, I’d get her a keepsake, maybe something personalized but inexpensive.
Post # 11
wow im sure she appreciates you stepping up and filling in the MOH’s spot. Ive known several bridal parties that all pitch in and get a wedding gift, maybe you could do that?
Post # 12
How about making her a little photo album of pictures from her shower and bachelorette party? It would be a nice keepsake and it will remind her of how much time and effort you put into everything for her.