Post # 1
I just have to get my feelings off my chest because I am trying my best to bite my tongue.
We went on a mini vacation this weekend, and at the end my mom told me my dog was put down (I posted my loss in pets). That happened Sunday. I spent all day Sunday from the time I woke up until the time we got home (about a 5 hours drive) crying on and off, talking to my mom and DH. The MOST I did was post an In Memory on Facebook with some pics while we were on the drive. We got to my parents, got my other dog, loaded him up with all the luggage and other things and went home.
I hadn’t been feeling good since Saturday, so this loss just put me over the edge. I had a bad upper backache, stuffy head, dry eyes, super tired, and didn’t feel good, so when we got home DH was an absolutely amazing rockstar and got me chicken noodle soup, put everything away, did clothes, and made me tea while I laid on the couch feeling completely drained.
I got to check FB this morning once I got to work, and while I had a ton of “sorry for your loss” comments, my MIL says, “What!!! Thanks for telling me!”
I capture the snarkiness since I did, in fact, NOT tell her, and she knows that. I feel like saying, “I’m sorry. I was too busy mourning the loss of my dog to figure out who all I had to give a fucking courtesy call to.” DH saw her comment and was not happy either (he’s taking this pretty hard too, especially after paying the fee this morning), so I know it isn’t just me being a hormonal mess. She could have just texted or called when she saw that instead of posting something snarky for everyone else to see, but she only made herself look stupid.
It’s little stuff like this that she does that just makes me want to tell her to STFU and remove her from my FB, phone, everything.
Post # 3
@megz06: Who is the ‘she’ you are upset about? You never actually say. The only other woman you talk about in the post (besides you) is your mom who told you your dog has passed, so I don’t think it’s her…I’m confused.
Post # 4
@megz06: I’m so sorry you are dealing with the loss of a pet 🙁 I can’t imagine losing mine! It breaks my heart…
From your post I can’t tell who made the comment on FB. You just say “she” so I thought it was your mom but obviously your mom already knew? So was it just a friend?
Either way I wouldn’t respond to her. People can be stupid and I feel like FB ENCOURAGES people to be stupid. Also, people without pets or without the same attachment to their pets don’t realize how upsetting it can really be.
It is hurtful, but I’d just ignore it.
Post # 5
@Eckle: I’m sorry. I was so upset I didn’t even put that it was my MIL. I edited it. Thanks.
Post # 6
@ValerieBee03: Thanks. I edited it. It was my MIL. I know she knows how this feels because she loves animals. She is just one of those people that thinks every little thing that happens in life warrants a phone call, text message, or special scroll delivered to her doorstep.
Post # 7
@megz06: Since she’s your MIL I wouldn’t remove all of your ways to contact her, but I would set up my facebook settings to make what she can see of your profile extremely limited. It’s like unfriending her without the actual drama of unfriending her.
Post # 8
This is easier said than done, but try not to think about her and her silly comments. Cuddle your other dog as tight as you can and eat whatever food you like, concentrate on happy things and mourning your loss xx
Post # 9
@megz06: Oh ok I see…She definitely could have worded that better. Like that maybe she hoped you’d tell her so she could offer support but the sarcastic “Thanks!” just makes my eyes roll.
If anything she should have expected your FI to tell her. The passive agressive side of me would want to reply with something like “Sorry we didn’t contact you right away, as you can understand it was a very emotional/busy/stressful day.”
Post # 10
@megz06: How rude! Some people think it’s all about them. I’m also sorry to hear about your family dog 🙁
Does your MIL have other DILs? Are you two close? Maybe she thinks you are closer than you are?
Post # 11
@megz06: It wasn’t her dog and you two don’t sound especially close. I can’t imagine why you would call her and no one should be judgesd for how they grieve – I’d probably hide in a dark room and ignore the world, not worry about how other people where handling MY loss.
I thought this post was going to be you being upset that your dog got put down without your consent – that would piss me off. And I don’t know what fee your DH had to pay but I hope it wasn’t the euthanisa fee 🙁 I’m sorry for this situation.
Post # 12
@veryberry13: I’m her only DIL. She’s one of those that needs to be told about everything, so I’m trying to let this roll off my back. She is one of those that gave us her wedding guest list 20 ppl deep–and they were people that she knows but hasn’t seen in 20 years, but they are nephews and neices of her step-dad’s so we should invite them, so she feels close to everyone. I don’t see the point in calling…I mean, we would have told her, but I guess I wasn’t thinking I had to tell her immediately. Plus we were on our way back from vacation and busy getting everything together and I wasn’t feeling good. I think I am just being a turd about it becuase she could have texted or called her son or me rather than posting that on FB for everyone.
@MrsPanda99: Yes, it was the euthanization fee 🙁 My brother took my dog to the vet, so he didn’t pay it. He had a hard time with this. They do charge a fee, and usually they take it before or they bill it out to you. They have been working with our animals for over 20 years, so we know how it works, but yes, it was that fee unfortunately. Napoleon needed meds anyway, so DH took care of it right away.