Post # 1
So I wish I could write on these boards with a happier heart ( i was hoping to write on how to involve a deeply catholic family in a non demoninational wedding)…..but my wonderful grandma….ok let me back track here….i dont have any living grandparents….but have been with my SO for almost 6 years….and his paternal grandmother has basically adopted me, and has always reffered to me as one of her grandkids…..and i loved her as a grandmother…..has sadly passed away yesterday afternoon….and the family is having a full catholic mass and funeral for her……but I am not catholic (methodist)….and we live 3 hours away and by the time i met SO she was no longer able to attend christmas mass, and so we would watch it on tv with her at christmas….so ive never really been to many events with them in the catholic church….
so here is my question….what exactly would be appropriate attire for me to wear…..i know most of his aunts have black dresses and funeral suites that they specifically wear to funerals….
i have two options right now in my closet….
1: knee length black dress with short sleeves, i could find a long sleeve black over shirt or something…..since one of my friends told me that your not supposed to expose your arms…..well your supposed to be covered…..this dress has kind of a higher “boat cut” neckline but im leary because i have a rather large bust and dont want to be over exposed….
2: grey pants (really nice dark charcoal grey ones) with a long sleeve black turtle neck…..wich i would be probably more comfortable in physically since i prefer pants….but growing up i was raised to firmly believe (My own grannie before she passed) women dont wear pants to church….
soo i guesse im asking wich is more appropriate….i really appreciate it….. im trying to focus on this to try and take my mind off of our current drive were making so i can stay strong for FFIL, FMIL, and SO…..
Post # 3
First I am very sorry for your loss.
Either outfit sounds appropriate. What would you wear if the funeral was at a Methodist Church? It isn’t any different. Pants are completely acceptable. As long as your outfit is modest and tasteful you should be fine.
Post # 4
@kansas_nurse: I’m sorry for you loss. As for your question, I’d wear the black dress, and you can pair it with a black cardigan if your worried about modesty. However, I don’t think the dress by itself sounds inappropriate for a funeral. Be sure to stay hydrated day of.
Post # 5
Will there be a viewing? Because I think either outfit would be fine for the mass/funeral. I wore a brown skirt and off white sweater when my gramma passed away so don’t worry about the grey pants.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you are going through this. Attire varies based on parrish, but I would say either outfit sounds perfectly fine. Perhaps you could wear one to the wake and one to the funeral itself.
Post # 7
Sorry to hear about your grandma. My fiancé is catholic and his grandpa passed away last month I was in a similar situation. I wore a black knee length dress (think Audrey Hepburn dress), black panty hose, black closed toe pumps, and a black cardigan to cover my arms. Oh and I wore a string off pearls cause I felt way too black ya know? I think both of your outfits sound appropriate, wear the one you’re more comfortable in
Post # 8
Either would be fine. Pants are 100% fine in a Catholic church for a woman to wear. At my grandfather’s funeral only my grandmother and I were in dresses. This is especially true for a winter funeral.
Our rule (ie my grandmother’s rule for her family) is don’t wear all back (that is for her closest kin, so her husband or children), cover your legs to the knees and make sure you can’t see your underwear lines in your pants or skirt, and cover all cleavage and your shoulders.
If my grandmother passed away today, I woud probably wear a black and white tweed skirt with stockings or black pants, an olive green tank top, and a black sweater.
Post # 9
thank you everyone…..we are dealing the best we can right now….i did pack both with me….so i think iwill do what a few have suggested and wear probably the pants for the viewing/wake,a and the dress for the funeral….my FSIL just let me know shes brining in a longsleeve cardigan with her when she comes that i can wear….
thank you guys again….it really means alot….