Post # 1
Any one else out there as well?
I am very shy and do not like being the center of attention. So I am nervous about walking down the aisle, first dance, everyone staring at me, etc
Any advice or tips on getting thru it all?
Post # 2
I’m about the shyest person ever, but walking down the aisle was fine for me. However I stuttered really bad when saying my vows. I probably sounded like I was trying not to cry, but it was just from nerves. It wasn’t that bad though.
Post # 3
I am kinda shy and laid back. Mr14 and his whole family are outgoing and outspoken. They can get pretty loud when they all get together. Just remember to be yourself and that everyone already loves you for who you are.
Post # 4
I was very nervous too, especially about the ceremony and I had quite a few “mess ups” lol. I forgot to say “I do” after the officiant asked me and there was a long awkward pause until I realized I was supposed to say it LOL. Then I was like “oh, yea yea yea!!! I do!!!” haha. I got a little jumbled up repeating things after him as well. When it was time to do the rings I accidentally gave my right hand instead of my left and then at the end of the ceremony when he said “I now present you Mr and Mrs so and so” I screamed “HELL YEA!!!” randomly!!! Ahhhh! Not planned, but it just came out!! Luckily everyone laughed through all of my screw ups and the day went very smoothly after that haha. A couple people said my little blips were the cutest parts of the ceremony, so I guess just be yourself and try to relax and it will all work out!
Post # 5
thelittleone: Raising hand. I am VERY shy, as is my FI. He functions better than I do in groups of people. I am stark raving terrified of walking down the aisle. I have been trying to tell myself that people will be looking at my dress, and not at me. We are planning a very short ceremony, as we both dislike being the center of attention, and we are not doing the first dance/bouquet toss/garter thing.
Will someone be walking you down the aisle? That may help you. Aside from that all I can say is to take breaks during the reception – I plan to have several visits to the ladies room just to be on my own (more or less) for breaks.
Post # 6
I’m shy and I was nervous about pouring my heart out in front of everyone at the ceremony (we wrote our own vows). But I just had to keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t be embarrassed to share my feelings about DH, since they’re true and all! If you’re writing your vows, it also helps to throw a joke or two in there to break the (what feels like) tension. As for the first dance, just keep looking at your man (or close your eyes) and pretend it’s just you two.
Post # 7
I am quite an introvert, and I do have some social anxiety. I was very nervous leading up to the wedding because I thought I would be so stressed being surrounded by so many people. I originally wanted something tiny, with 20 or fewer guests, but I agreed to inviting 125 (with 80 yes RSVPs) because that’s what my DH and everyone else wanted.
In the end it was totally fine! I think it helped that DH and I spent the night together and had some time to ourselves in the morning. We also had a first look and did family photos before the ceremony. I think it took some pressure off.
Going down the aisle wasn’t a big deal at all. I stayed focused on my husband and my dad there with me. And doing the ceremony I just focused on our celebrant and DH. I would sometimes look out at our guests, and it was actually sweet seeing everyone there.
Then during the reception it was again fine! We had a sweetheart table, which I recommend. It was nice to sit alone and not have to small talk or anything. I was most nervous about the first dance, which I wasn’t at all looking forward to. Again, I focused on DH. I pretended we were in our living room all alone. I never took my eyes off him. If you are doing a first dance, practice a bit ahead of time alone – not to get the steps down, but to just get a feel for it. Then on the big day, imagine it’s just practice again – alone, just you two.
I think it also helped that most of my guests had to drive a significant distance to make it to the wedding. That meant a lot of people went home right after the cake cutting. So the people left at the end of the night? Those 20 or so that I love dearly and would have been a part of the intimate wedding of my dreams. At that point I just felt so loved and supported that there was no way I had any more social anxiety.
So to summarize my advice – during the scary bits, focus on the new husband. Practice these bits ahead of time in private so that when the real deal comes, you can just pretend it’s like that with no one else around. And know that whatever happens, everyone is there to love and support you. Also be sure to carve out some time before and during the wedding to just be with your new husband so you can be yourselves and relax.
Post # 8
thanks everyone for responding and your advice. I am hoping to be fine and just relax and enjoy.
allyfally: I hope you’re right. I’m also nervous. Hopefully the ceremony goes bt quick.
14yearsstrong: thanks for your advice. FI is the opposite of me: loud, outgoing and laidback. Opposites attract 🙂
happyhealthy87: lol that made me laugh. at least you were able to make light of the situation (of your nerves).
Astra: My father will be walking me down the [long] aisle. I wanted a quick ceremony but not at my church…45 min long! I was thinking about not having the bouquet/garter toss but FI wants it. Our photograher suggested putting $50 in the bouquet so it wouldnt look so akward for everyone since i ma have like 5 single ladies lol. Oh yes I am planning to have some quiet time in the bridal room as well.
idoalterations: thanks for the tip. i will just look at him and try to “forget” the 200 people there lol
bowsergirl: thanks. Yup we already started practicing our first dance. i Just need to relax and take a break if need be
Post # 9
I am planning a very small and short wedding to avoid any extra stress because of my extreme shyness. I expext the ceremony to be 15 minutes max and the entire wedding will last 2 hours max. Our first dance is going to be very low key, no one is going to be announcing that we are dancing and we are actually going to have the dance floor open and music playing prior to this so then other people are out dancing and we can slip in when our song comes on.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
I am a really shy person especially around big groups of people! In school when I had to do presentations I would always freeze and turn bright red and sometimes stutter. For the wedding I didn’t think I would say a speech because it is not mandatory but I decided to because I thought it was the right thing to do. Everyone came to see me and my FH and I felt like I owed it to them. Walking down the isle I was really nervous and saying my vows, I couldn’t wait for that part to me over with but I did it and nothing bad happened, so try not to stress out about it. Try to enjoy your day and not obsess about everyone staring at you. As the night went on I got used to everyone staring at us and didn’t care anymore!
Post # 11
I’m really shy, but I didn’t have a problem walking down the aisle. I did get ahead of myself with my vows, but I don’t think anyone noticed. Everything else went fine. We had about 45 people show up to the wedding, so it was kind of small, which helped me not be as nervous.
Post # 12
thelittleone: honestly, i don’t think there’s a “one size fits all” to tackle feeling shy.
i am BEYOND shy– and everytime i would imagine walking down the aisle it literally made me want to vomit. i’m not kidding.
the day off- we were SO busy leading up to the actual ceremony, there wasn’t time to panic beforehand, thankfully. when it came time to actually walk down the aisle- i walked up to the door, and then turned around and ran. for a brief moment, my husband actually wondered if i was coming or not.
our aisle wasn’t out-of control long, thankfully (it wasn’t in a church– so there wasn’t all these empty pews to walk by first, etc……)– but it was still an aisle, none the less.
i have no idea how my face looked– i tried my hardest to just smile/laugh (i wasn’t *trying* to laugh, but it was just what was happening). i also laughed during the ceremony a lot– but people who know me well know it was so me– my best friend from childhood’s mom/my dean of students in HS came up to me RIGHT after the ceremony and told me– it was all so me LOL
Just focus on your FI/husband during the ceremony– and nothing else, if you can. After being SO shy and freaked out– our short ceremony was actually my all time favorite part of the day. And it wasn’t because it was SO touching or SO personal– it was about as simple as it gets. I can’t even explain why it was my favorite part- probably because it was the one part of the evening that actually felt like time stood still- the rest was SUCH a whirlwind. I don’t remember most of the conversations I had that night with people (and it’s not because of alcohol LOL)– it’s just because everything goes so fast.
Just remember one thing: every who attends is just so excited for you that day– there’s really nothing you can do wrong. You could trip down the aisle, and you’d still be endearing, beautiful bride.
Post # 13
I’m not nervous, but I have some kind of lifelong reaction that makes me get a red rash on my skin when I’m embarassed or at the center of a lot of attention. It happens when I have to give speechesm anything. Anything that gets my heart rate up. So I am going to wear a blusher veil for the first part of the ceremony to give my impending skin reaction a chance to calm down.
Post # 14
thanks all – i am starting to feel better now but thats because I am 5 months away 🙂
As long as I try to relax and focus on my new husband, I will be fine.
Post # 15
thelittleone: I was SO nervous walking down the isle at both my friends weddings (and i was just a bridemaid!!) I HATE walking down isles. im hopeing by doing a “first look” with my FI it will alleviate the nerves i have! Plus my dad will be there to help haha. Now i just have to make sure i dont fall down the 2 flights of stairs! Maybe doing a first look would help you too?