- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
Well I’ve had a bit of an eye-opener over the last few days! I was out with a group of friends on Monday, four couples (english girls and greek guys) and a single female friend (english) and a single male friend (italian). I’m Welsh and my Darling Husband is Greek. Anyway I noticed one of the couples seemed quiet and not quite their usual bubbly selves. I discreetly asked her what was up and she told me that they’d had a problem when they visited her family in the UK this Easter. Apparently they went to her grandmother’s house for Easter lunch with the family and a few nasty things were said towards her Fiance. That he was just after her money and a visa, swearing at him and calling him a “dirty f*&%îng Greek” and a lot lot more. Being the kind of guy he is he didn’t retaliate and tried to change the subject. Her grandmother tried intervening, to no avail. Her mother wasn’t there because of work commitments and she lost her father years ago, so they were on their own. Eventually – before the food got to the table they got up and walked out.
Because of this they have decided to cancel the big family wedding they were having and will be having a small beach wedding next summer with just their parents, siblings and us there.
Anyway we all started discussing and I was horrified that everybody there had suffered racism after entering their relationships. Th girls all said that their partner’s families and friends had labelled them as stupid sluts in the beginning. The fathers had encouraged the sons to “practise sex with the english girls, but don’t marry them”.
The greek guys had all been accused of being with their girlfriends only to get a visa (note – Greeks do not need a visa to go to the UK, and because of the open borders of Europe are free to work in any european country without having to get a visa)
The Italian guy said that his mother was always angry with him with the girls he brought home, but admitted it wasn’t so much their nationality but the fact they were strippers and lapdancers – another story!
As far as I am aware My side have been nothing but supportive towards our relationship, but I asked my Mum anyway and she told me that no one had made any derogatery comments about us to her anyway. Darling Husband said that initially his side had warned him off me and to find himself a nice Greek girl. They liked me, but they didn’t like that I was foreign, and initially hoped that he’d get bored of me and dump me, but now are completely supportive of us. I was taken aback by that I have to say.
Another friend who wasn’t there has had to put up with her Father-In-Law introducing women to her Darling Husband, offering to sort out a divorce, handingher a cheque to pay for an abortion, and just generally be nasty and cruel towards her. She cried tears of joy the day he died!
I have dealt with racism from a lot of English people but they don’t see it as racist because as one said to me “you’re not black – you’re just welsh, and you can only be racist towards blacks!” But I do find it insulting to be called a [email protected]((#r, to have baa-ing noises made when I walk past, have fun made of my accent, being accused of being inbred, being asked if I can smell the sheep shit – oh no I must be used to it etc…
Anyway I was just wondering if any of my fellow bees suffered racism directed towards them or their other half? If so, how did you deal with it?