(Closed) Racist in-laws

posted 4 years ago in African-American
Post # 3
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Bump

Post # 4
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee

@LunaFleurLavender: I would absolutely keep them the hell away from my wedding. I think you’re being generous even allowing them to attend the ceremony. If they ask/demand an explanation, tell them point-blank that you want nothing to do with racism, violence or disrespectful behaviour…”family” or not.

Your fiancé needs to stand up for you, as well. He needs to lay down the law with his family (esp. since it won’t be heeded coming from you). If your fiancé cannot stand up for you now, will he be able to when it comes to holidays, letting them influence your children, etc? I refuse(d) to be with someone that would ever allow his family to treat me as anything less-than (thankfully that is not even an issue).

Post # 6
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My FILs are racist. It’s a terrible Midwest thing I see regularly, that I truly never encountered in upstate NY While growing up. I must have been lucky.

The first family dinner I went to, some offhand nasty comment was made… My uncle, whom I adore, married an African American woman. They have an incredibly fabulous daughter. I looked at the person who made the offending comment, smiled sweetly, and said, “My uncle is married to a black woman. She’s incredible and brilliant. In fact, they met at MIT. They have a beautiful daughter, my cousin, who I am so happy to have as a part of my family.” 

That was really it. While I doubt that alone changed their view, it shamed them into shutting the F- up! At least they make sure I’m not around if they want to spout filth now.

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